Time to Go Camping

Posted on 03/06/2019 by Grumpa Joe

I received this letter from a former Boy Scout who is now seventy plus years old. He thought it was hilarious, so did I.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the
flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2
sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because
we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t
write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and
rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark
if it hadn’t been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam
for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did
tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The
wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our
clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It
wasn’t his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left.
Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect
something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.
We think it’s a super bus. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if
it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets
pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns
riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In
fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where
there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging
trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming
out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn’t let me because I can’t
swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it’s
concrete because we didn’t have any plaster), so he let us take the
canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the
water from the flood. Scoutmaster Ted isn’t crabby like some
scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets. He has to
spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause
him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew
dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a
tourniquet works. Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it
was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said
they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he
got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to
get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what
is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy
some more beer and ammo. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine and
tonight it’s my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster’s tent.
LOVE, MIKE

Filed under: Aging, family, Humor | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Coming From Someone Younger

Posted on 05/05/2018 by Grumpa Joe

One thing old guys like me get from the youth is that I’m too old and I don’t understand the problems of youth. Well, granted my youth has been long gone, but I remember what my feelings were when I was young and what my priorities were. They aren’t much different today than they were in 1950. There were some big differences, like we didn’t have TV, or video games or computers, or social media to complicate our lives. In fact, telephones were still a rarity. I found this video by an Eagle Scout which pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter of the Boy Scouts bending to the will of communists, and he is spot on.

Filed under: Aging, family, Society | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

Neutered Men

Posted on 04/05/2018 by Grumpa Joe

My rant yesterday about the death of the Boy Scouts of America left me thinking all through the night. A new question popped into my confused mind. Why don’t the Girl Scouts recruit boys to join? Progressive women are so bent on infiltrating all men organizations but we never hear of them allowing men to enter their lairs. Why is that? There are plenty of men who like Bruce Jenner want to be women. It would be a natural for the Girl Scouts to encourage men to join. My guess is that women joining men’s organizations has nothing to do with the women’s movement. It has everything to do with the communist party. It is no secret that communists have set goals to infiltrate movements for the express purpose of causing division. They are good at it, and we are buying into it hook, line, and sinker. Do you want to start a revolution? Set black men against white, women against men, cop against criminal,  heterosexual against homosexual. Division works to confuse people and to sell the message of equal outcome for everyone. How can women be equal to men when men insist on maintaining all men’s worlds like the Boy Scouts? They can’t, so they must fight hard to infiltrate, and neuter the man’s private world. At the same time they keep their own women’s world organizations solidly female, no men allowed.

Movements like the one to neuter the Boy Scouts only serve to give religions fostering fewer women’s rights to flourish. After all there is something to be said for having four wives who must bow to the man’s needs with a right to have a temporary wife when the four aren’t satisfying enough. Want to keep the little lady in control? Join an all man’s organization like Islam.

Real women like my mother were never upset over not having the same rights as men. Why would my mother want to go to work in a dirty shop to work in conditions not fit for women. Why would a woman want the right to use a hammer straightening steel in her job all day long? Instead my mother chose to out work my father by raising three kids, keeping house, tending a one acre garden, raising chickens for food, and cooking for the nuns at the local convent. She held the respect of every family in the neighborhood, and she never minded that she couldn’t compete with my dad for anything. She made her own world, and enjoyed her womanliness doing it.

The wimps in charge of the BSA are all Bruce Jenner wanna be’s. They should look at the Girl Scouts for help in keeping their male identities.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll have another BSA rant to get off my chest.

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I Quit!

Posted on 03/05/2018 by Grumpa Joe

Dear Boy Scouts of America:

Go to hell, I resign. Take my name along with my twenty-five years of service off your roles. I’m sure Lord Baden-Powell is spinning in his grave because of your stupid decision to bend to the progressive communist message. Let me be frank, allowing girls into BOY scouts makes as much sense as Bruce Jenner becoming a woman. As I wrote in an earlier post you had better develop merit badges for condom usage and sex education.

I would rather see the BSA go out of business because they have lost the interest of the boys of the world. Your branch of explorer scouts which took the same path as you are taking should have given you enough experience to realize this simply won’t work. My prediction is that within ten years you will merge with the Girl Scouts to survive.

The world continues to change. Darwin called it evolution. This wish for women to be men and men to be women is one of the evolutionary micro-organisms afflicting humanity. When will it end? When humans are all bi-sexual? There are a few species of animals in existence that don’t need sex partners to procreate, and you are going that way. The sex with robots movement is an early step in that direction.

Right now there is an excellent woman available to lead your failed organization. She is the master  of progressivism in the world and will enjoy taking every man you have left and tearing them into tiny pieces. Her name is Hillary. Good luck BSA.

Filed under: Aging, family, Sarcasm | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

A New Merit Badge

Posted on 14/10/2017 by Grumpa Joe

ALMKE, GERMANY – JULY 31: Scouts singing prior to their dinner at the camp on July 31, 2010 in Almke near Wolfsburg, Germany.

During my lifetime I spent twenty-five years serving in the Boy Scouts of America as a volunteer. I love Scouting, and all things Boy Scouts. As a father, I often wondered why my daughter had to belong to the Girl Scouts, and not to the Boy Scouts.My daughter loved going camping with us as a family, but never got a real camping experience as a Girl Scout. My beautiful wife Barbara served as a leader for her daughter’s troop, and I served as a leader for our son’s troop. So, we both knew what the other was doing, and we often traded experiences. Except, that Barb’s experiences with the girls were so different from ours in the Boy Scouts. I can only say, well, they were girly things. I often voiced my opinion that my daughter would have had a more meaningful experience had she been in one of my scouting groups. Actually, she was. She traveled with us to scout family camp, and had that close experience, and she visited her brother’s campsite with her mom, and got that experience, but it just wasn’t the same. Her merit badges were so girly while the boys had he-man type badges to work on.

Too many years have passed since my kids were in scouts and now I find myself in a conundrum about letting girls into BOY Scouts. I think the feminists are reaching too far into the man’s world. If God wanted girls like men he would have granted them testosterone instead of estrogen. Except, that once in a awhile nature screws up, and grants a bit too much of testosterone to women, and too much estrogen to men, and we have a new conundrum of knowing which sex we really are. I do know one thing, i.e. that boys of scouting age are developing their testosterone supply, and experiencing it’s effect on their bodies, like becoming basso instead of soprano, and developing huge muscles, with hair all over. In the meantime the estrogen is making women’s bodies soft, and their breasts big, and their voices stay sopranoish, and they learn their mother’s coy attitude toward men.

Now, I have a new conundrum, i.e. should the Boy Scouts add a new merit badge for sex, and another one for motherhood?

So many questions, so little time left to know what the future holds.

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