If You Want A Good Laugh, Ask A Kid

A

WHY GOD MADE MOMS 

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:   
1. Why did God make mothers? 

a. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 

b. Mostly to clean the house. 

c. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 


2. How did God make mothers? 

a. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 

b. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 

c. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 


4. What ingredients are mothers made of?

  a. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 

b. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

 
5. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 

a. We’re related. 

b. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me. 


6. What kind of a little girl was your mom? 

a. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 

b. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 

c. They say she used to be nice.

 7. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

  a. His last name.

  b. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 

c. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

 
8. Why did your mom marry your dad?

  a. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot. 

b. She got too old to do anything else with him.

  c. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on. 


9. Who’s the boss at your house? 

a. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball. 

b. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

  c. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 

10. What’s the difference between moms and dads?

  a. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

  b. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

  c. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

  d. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

 11. What does your mom do in her spare time? 

a. Mothers don’t do spare time.

 b. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

 12. What would it take to make your mom perfect?

  a. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 

b. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

13. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

  a. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

 b. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

  c. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. 😁😁

211220-PSAc-Stress Test

Stress            
I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate.  Read the full description before looking at the picture. 
The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it.  It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary’s Hospital, London. 

 
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water.
The dolphins are identical.  A closely monitored
Scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact
that the dolphins are identical, a person under
stress would find differences in the two dolphins.
The more differences a person finds between the
dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.
Look at the photograph and if you find more than one
or two differences you need to go on vacation….

a

b

b

b

b

b

b

b

No need to Reply,  I’ll be on vacation!

Never take life seriously
Nobody gets out alive anyway!

211220-b-More Memes, Jokes, Cartoons

211220-PSA-I Love Memes

121219-PSA-Drink More Water

A friend sent me this important piece of information. Since I am in this over sixty group and most of my friends are too, I decided to pass it on.

Very interesting info that, quite frankly, I never thought about.

By: Arnaldo Liechtenstein, physician

Whenever I teach clinical medicine to students in the fourth year of medicine, I ask the following question:  What are the causes of mental confusion in the elderly?

Some offer: “Tumors in the head”. I answer: No!

Others suggest: “Early symptoms of Alzheimer’s”. I answer No!

With each rejection of their answers, their responses dry up.

And they are even more open-mouthed when I list the three most common causes:

– uncontrolled diabetes

– urinary infection

– dehydration

It may sound like a joke, but it isn’t. People over 60 generally stop feeling thirsty and consequently stop drinking fluids.

When no one is around to remind them to drink fluids, they quickly dehydrate.

Dehydration is severe and affects the entire body. It may cause abrupt mental confusion, a drop in blood pressure, increased heart palpitations, angina (chest pain), coma and even death.

*This habit of forgetting to drink fluids begins at age 60, when we have just over 50%of the water we should have in our bodies. People over 60 have a lower water reserve.

This is part of the natural aging process.*

But there are more complications. Although they are dehydrated, they don’t feel like-drinking water, because their internal balance m mechanisms don’t work very well.

*Conclusion:*

People over 60 years old dehydrate easily, not only because they have a smaller water supply, but also because they do not feel the lack of water in the body.

Although people over 60 may look healthy, the performance of reactions and chemical functions can damage their entire body.

So here are two alerts:

1) *Get into the habit of drinking liquids*. Liquids include water, juices, teas, coconut water, milk, soups, and water-rich fruits, such as watermelon, melon, peaches and pineapple; orange and tangerine also work.

*The important thing is that, every two hours, you must drink some liquid. Remember this!*

2) Alert for family members: constantly offer fluids to people over age 60. At the same time, observe them.

If you realize that they are rejecting liquids and, from one day to the next, they are irritable, breathless or display a lack of attention, these are almost certainly recurrent symptoms of dehydration.  Inspired to drink more water now?? Send this information out to others!  Your friends and family need to know for themselves and help you to be healthier and happier.  It’s good to share! *For people over 60*