Borrowed from a blogger friend
A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.
Jainism: You must not disturb shit
Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.
Taoism: Shit happens
Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.
Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.
Paganism: Here’s some shit that represents other shit.
Reform Judiasm: Lots of shit happened to us, try not to eat pork and shrimp.
Conservative Judaism: Lots of shit happened to us, We will frown if your shit smells like pork or shrimp.
Orthodox Judaism: Don’t do shit on Saturday. And lots of shit happened to us. And stay away from that pork and shrimp shit.
Sunni Islam: Mohammed passed down his shit to us via his son in law.
Shia Islam: Mohammed passed down his shit via his Father in Law.
Wahabbi Islam: Let’s blow up some shit.
Catholicism: You must not eat certain shit on Friday.
Orthodox Christianity:. Same shit, only it’s a week late.
Episcopalianism: Here’s some shit. Wanna go for a clam bake?
Lutheranism: Here’s 95 pieces of shit. Wanna go out for some jello salad?
Methodists: Here’s some shit. You’ll get new shit once every 6 years. Want some roasted corn?
Southern Baptists: Don’t let black people into this shit. Also, don’t do shit on Sunday.
Seventh Day Adventists: Black people are welcome. Also, don’t do shit on Saturday.
Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock Knock. Who’s there? Shit.
Latter Day Saints: Knock knock. Who’s there? Shit from space.
Scientology: Knock knock: Who’s there? Shit from space. But we’ll cut you off from your family worse than the previous two.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke some shit.
New Age: Let’s gather some crystals and shit.
Bahai faith: We combined shit from all over the world and made it into a new kind of shit.
Agnostism: We don’t know if the shit exists or not.
Weak Atheism: There’s no evidence for shit existing
Strong atheism: Shit doesn’t exist.
Deism: This shit doesn’t really care about us.
Filed under: Humor, religion | Tagged: Observations, Philosophy, Thoughts |
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