Religious Musings

Borrowed from a blogger friend

A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here’s some shit that represents other shit.

Reform Judiasm: Lots of shit happened to us, try not to eat pork and shrimp.

Conservative Judaism: Lots of shit happened to us, We will frown if your shit smells like pork or shrimp.

Orthodox Judaism: Don’t do shit on Saturday. And lots of shit happened to us. And stay away from that pork and shrimp shit.

Sunni Islam: Mohammed passed down his shit to us via his son in law.

Shia Islam: Mohammed passed down his shit via his Father in Law.

Wahabbi Islam: Let’s blow up some shit.

Catholicism: You must not eat certain shit on Friday.

Orthodox Christianity:. Same shit, only it’s a week late.

Episcopalianism: Here’s some shit. Wanna go for a clam bake?

Lutheranism: Here’s 95 pieces of shit. Wanna go out for some jello salad?

Methodists: Here’s some shit. You’ll get new shit once every 6 years. Want some roasted corn?

Southern Baptists: Don’t let black people into this shit. Also, don’t do shit on Sunday.

Seventh Day Adventists: Black people are welcome. Also, don’t do shit on Saturday.

Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock Knock. Who’s there? Shit.

Latter Day Saints: Knock knock. Who’s there? Shit from space.

Scientology: Knock knock: Who’s there? Shit from space. But we’ll cut you off from your family worse than the previous two.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke some shit.

New Age: Let’s gather some crystals and shit.

Bahai faith: We combined shit from all over the world and made it into a new kind of shit.

Agnostism: We don’t know if the shit exists or not.

Weak Atheism: There’s no evidence for shit existing

Strong atheism: Shit doesn’t exist.

Deism: This shit doesn’t really care about us.

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