170428-End of Month Titter

How about a few funny stories on a Friday afternoon?

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At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.  The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society. ‘In fact’, he pointed out, ‘some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society’.

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’

‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery, asked the couple’?

‘Because I’m the artist, who painted the picture,’ he replied.

‘In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They’re just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.

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Golf and lunch at HOOTERS…
Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to New York State, the other to Florida.

They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf.

At age 30,  they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts, and the legs”

“OK.”

Ten years later at age 40 they play.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.

“Why?”

“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”

“OK.”

Ten years later at age 50 they play a round of golf.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.”

”OK.”

At age 60 they play a round of golf.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“Wings are half price.”

“OK”

At age 70 they play a round of golf.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”

“OK.”

At age 80 they play a round of golf.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“We’ve never been there before.”

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Subject: The Italian Funeral
 
 A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his coffee when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.                                              

 
Behind him, a short distance back were about 300 men walking in single file.
                                        

The Jewish man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:

“I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”

“My wife’s.”

‘What happened to her?”

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”  

He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse”

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.”   

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

 
The Jewish man then asked, “Can I borrow the dog?”
 
The Italian man replied, “Get in line.”
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One Response

  1. Saving the best for the last

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