A Soldier for the Progressive Movement

A few years ago I filed my income tax return on time as usual. A week after I filed, I received a 1099 from one of my savings accounts. Oh my God, I forgot to claim $90.00 of interest. What do I do?  I did what most law-abiding citizens of the USA would do, I filed an amended return. My mind was at ease, I began to sleep well  again.

A month later, I received a notice from the dreaded IRS. The letter proclaimed that I had not claimed $90 of interest from a bank account. Also, they listed about six other infractions from earlier years which they said I had not claimed. None of them were over $25.00.

What amazed me was the detail of their claims and the speed with which they were able to make the claims. The other part that amazed me more was they totally ignored my amended claim.

The IRS demanded I clear up the matter immediately or they would go after me for the “many” infractions they had listed. Being scared-to-death about a life in prison for ninety dollars, I also forgot about the amended claim and complied. I sent them the documentation requested and the fine they said I owed.

A month later I received acknowledgement of my amended claim. This was totally separate from their threatening letter demanding action on my part. Who the hell is in charge? Frankly folks, I will ignore any new demands the IRS makes of me. I will sooner have the satisfaction of them coming to take my over mortgaged house and me with it  than to give in to these mindless, emotionless, and soulless bureaucrats. I can hardly wait for Obama-Care to kick in so I can have some fun with them.

Change the  scene. A few weeks ago I listened to a news report of one Harry Reid (pictured above) making a claim that Mitt Romney has not paid his taxes. Are you kidding me? There is no way in hell the IRS is going to let anyone get away with not paying taxes. This is just an example of how far out of touch with reality that Senator Harry Reid from the good State of Nevada is.

The only people who will buy that Kool Aid are the ones who don’t pay taxes and believe it is the moral obligation of those who do to pay more. Harry Reid is a soldier for the Progressive movement and will kiss his commander’s ass at any opportunity. This time he missed and hit a new mark. The black hole sucked his dumb head right into where it belongs.

“Oh! Am I Driving?”

icon of elderly people

icon of elderly people (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday I posted a serious article received from a friend. Today, I am posting the lighter side, also received from a friend.

FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses… She yells to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94 year old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses “Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO ME

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: “They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!” she cried. The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way.” A few minutes later, the officer radios in. “Disregard.” He says, “She got in the back-seat by mistake.”

I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!”

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn’t it?” “No,” the second man replied, “it’s Thursday…” And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let’s have a beer.”

SUPERSEX

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say “Supersex.” She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair Flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex.”

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I’ll take the soup.”

ROMANCE

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.” Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my Neck.” Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“To get my teeth!”

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,” Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!” An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?” Bessie thinks a minute and says, “Close enough.”

OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me.. I know we’ve been friends for a long time but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.” Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, “How soon do you need to Know?”

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!” “Hell,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car.. It’s hundreds of them!”

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car – both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh! Am I driving?”

********** 

Please !!!! TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US

**********

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