Day 50-SIP-What Are the Chances?

Posted on 06/05/2020 by Grumpa Joe
Joe & Peggy are seen riding along the river bed in Joe’s garden about twelve feet from the waterfall.

See Peggy and Joe at the upper part of the picture? They are to the right of the white bucket. Now toss the sedum over your shoulder toward the patio. Did it land on the handle bars? If so you win today’s exercise.

Now do it again. What are the odds of landing a second clump of sedum right on top of the first one. I quit trying since I was way ahead. This is my lucky day. If I weren’t in Stay in Place, I’d go and buy a lotto ticket.

I do not gamble except for an occasional lotto ticket or a raffle chance. I stick to knowing the odds of winning and decide I am ahead if I don’t even try. Right now I am feeling the same way about the virus. What are my chances of getting it? With 7.8 billion people in the world I say my chances are one in 7.8 billion. Now, I am not a statistician by any means and I know I am grossly over simplifying my point. Calculating the odds of something happening involves some calculations which I am not prepared to do. I use a kind of common sensical approach. If I limit myself to the USA population my odds are one in 331 Million, and if I limit myself to the State of Illinois my odds are one in 13.1 million. Now I narrow things down to my county in Illinois and my odds are 1 in 69,017. When I use the Stay In Place model my chances are zero. So much for the argument to stay in place.

All these BS odds are meaningless today, because I tossed a clump of sedum over my shoulder and had it land in the hands of Joe & Peggy twice.

That kind of luck puts a special meaning into that little figurine and what it represents. I am forever going to keep it even if I end up in a nursing home. Peg bought that for me and now after we caught two boquets of plant life while riding through the garden together it represents our life together. Perhaps it is a sign from her that she is watching over me even though she is not with me anymore. Whatever, I need to believe something magical in order to save my life from boring solitude.

Take my hint and find something to believe in.

Filed under: Aging, family, Garden, grief, Seniors | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

A Universe of Laws

Posted on 20/11/2012 by Grumpa Joe

Gravity

Gravity (Photo credit: eat more toast)

A very good engineer friend sent me this and I had to share.

Law of Mechanical Repair –After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

 

Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 

Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

 

Variation Law –If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

 

Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

 

Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

 

Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

 

The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 

Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

 

Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

 

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

 

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy –As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

 

Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better.. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

Related articles

Filed under: family, Humor, Science | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »