Secrets to Inner Peace.
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably the Family Dog
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ….
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can’t eat it or play with it,
Pee on it and walk away.
Thank You OC Grandma! My cousin Sharron sent me these pictures and titled the e-mail “Thou Shalt Not Kill.” I agree with her, but the temptation to do so would be great if I found one of these situations in my house. My advice to young parents is this: If you have toddlers or infants in the house and it seems to be very, very quiet, be afraid and look for the source of quiet.
English: Thamnophis sirtalis sirtalis (Eastern Garter Snake) in Spangler Park, Wooster, Ohio. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
You tell me if this is a true story or a fairy tale. What ever it is a very creative attempt to make me laugh out loud. Oh, I forgot, LOL. Thanks Joyce and Frank for sending a cool story.
All Snakes Are Bad Snakes
Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamn ophis sirta lis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here’s why.
A couple in Penn Valley, California , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold- nosed him on the behind.
He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor .
His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out , tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods , knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat.By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here. …..
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake .The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table .The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department .
The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power , and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area but they did get the house fire out.
Time passed!
Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world .
A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night . The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
I loved the movie Red Dog, and now I love the story Red Dog. My habit lately is to read a book and then watch the movie, but this time I watched the movie first and now finished reading the book. I enjoyed it twice.
Author Louis De Bernieres weaves a fascinating story about the traveling Red Dog of Australia. Locals dubbed him that because Red wandered thousands of miles around western Australia looking for his deceased master. As he traveled, he made friends people he met. He hitched rides on buses, in trucks, and with people in cars. The dog becomes your dog as you read the story, just as Red Dog became every Australian’s dog in real life. The story is fictionalized with human characters, but the events relating to the animal are true. The breed is a Red Cloud Kelpie or Australian cattle dog.
The town in which this story took place has built a bronze memorial to the dog which is still in place.
Watch the movie, read the book, or do both you won’t be sorry.
The movie has been altered from the book to include a more human element to the story, but overall it stays true to De Bernieres story. In the movie, a love story parallels the dog story, and the movie ending is different from that in the book. The end of the movie makes you sad but you feel good, the end of the book makes you sad.
POTUS must not treat Bo very well if he laments that Republicans talk to him like he was a dog. Or, perhaps the Republicans should speak more frankly about his performance.
If he treats Bo unfriendly, and believes he gets the same speak, than maybe he should learn to treat Bo in a more civilized manner.
What I have observed is that the liberals and the media treat him like a big old friendly hound. He loves being coddled, and to be rubbed behind the ears.
