PSA-170217A-God’s Plan

Aging.jpg

God’s Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow

PSA-150529

It is important that I provide service to the community, and therefore, I issue Public Service Announcements like the one below. No need to thank me, just hit the like button.

The Importance of Walking

Seniors walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old
and we don’t know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I’m doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’,
I wash my mouth out with wine.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they’ll say,
‘Well, he looks good doesn’t he.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,……
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

Mind Numbing Liberal Nut Job

This morning I awoke bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to tackle the world. As I awaited Peg’s entrance for breakfast, I scoured the I-Net for news. One article caught my attention. This story involved Obama Care and the man who invented most of its ridiculous Senior Citizen care plans. His name is Ezekiel Emmanuel, his brother Rahm Emmanuel is former Chief of Staff  for Obama, and current Mayor of Chicago. By far Ezekiel  is loonier than the entire Obama Administration put together. His take on how long he believes he wants to live is just stupid. He is a doctor who went through years of schooling, yet he does not have an ounce of common sense. Why we would entrust this man to author the national health care act is mind-boggling. Actually, it isn’t mind-boggling when you remember he is a liberal. Yes, he has some weird liberal ideas, and they are all in the Affordable Healthcare Act we fondly refer to as Obama Care. Read the linked article to see what I am talking about. He is at his finest moment in this piece. I’m positive he set the liberal world on fire with his mind numbing philosophy on the age at which he wants to die, and his reasons for it.

Read the article and watch the video. Tell me which 75-year-old you want to be, Ezekiel or Fritz?

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“Ezekiel Emanuel is one of the nation’s premier Obamacarians. He has the president’s ear. He is for health care rationing. And now, he wants us to die at 75.”

“He doesn’t put it quite like that, writing in the first person. But make no mistake: That is his essential message. From ”Why I Hope to Die at 75,” in The Atlantic: : ”  Read More 

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Personally, I hope his wish becomes a reality for him. In his case even fifty years is way too much  time to spread Progressive BS.

I would sooner watch a great speaker like Fritz Coleman and laugh my aged ass off than to pull the trigger. My Dad lived to ninety-two and as broken down as he was he loved his life. Maybe Ezekiel is a closet Muslim, and secretly he desires to have a bomb taped to his chest with a trigger set for the moment he reaches 75.

Watch Fritz give his talk. It is funny, but it is hilarious if you are at the age Ezekiel wants to die.

 

 

Happy Birthday Aunt Marie

Marie at Ninety-fourIt isn’t easy getting to ninety four. Aunt Marie has done it. She is a physical wreck but still a mental whiz. Her sense of humor is great.

Today, we brought a cake to her home and had a party with her co-residents. The staff came by and sang Happy Birthday with us. Everyone ate cake and all were happy.

Marie is slipping and tired. Maybe the arthritis pain is creeping up on the pain scale, but she seems depressed. Maybe it is her lack of social contact because of her incontinence. She refuses to leave to go out anymore.  Whatever the reason, she is not the same Marie as she has been.

Every week, for the last three and a half years, Peggy and I visit with her. Each time we come home we feel better because Marie has a unique ability to see life as a positive thing. She cheers me up. Today, however, was different. I wasn’t cheered. In fact I became depressed.  Her depression transferred to me.

Birthday Cake

Pink Rose Bouquet

Princess Baloon

Older and Wiser

Wow! Too many projects, too little time to get them all done. Does that sound familiar? Let me tell you something folks, it doesn’t change with age. As long as a person has his health, and mental faculties, he will continue to want to be a useful citizen of this earth. I had a question last night from one of my Lions Club friends. We touched upon the election in our discussion. He is concerned because he is a conservative in all his views, yet he is questioning about voting for an old man.

He looked at me and asked, “how old are you Joe?

“Seventy,” I replied.

“Do you feel that you have the energy and mental capacity to be president?

“Yes,” was my answer. 

The real question in my mind is whether nature will be good to me, and let me keep my health and energy as I age. I fully intend to stay healthy, and today, I am reasonably healthy, but will I stay that way for much longer? I don’t know, neither do you. Only the Lord knows what is ahead of us. All we can do is, “Remember yesterday, Dream tomorrow, Live today.” 

So what if our current conservative candidate is old? He will select a younger Vice Presidential partner, who will rise to the occasion if it is necessary.  It is also a fact that young men die too. Many of them live a higher risk life style than older men, so their chances of meeting with injury or accidental demise is probably greater. Remember Christopher Reeves, “Super Man,” broke his neck while enjoying his passion, i.e. riding a horse. More recently, Heath Ledger died of too many medicines at one time. To quote a line from the movie “Forest Gump,”

” Shit Happens.”

 Life is filled with stories about people who die when they shouldn’t.

Instead of worrying about a candidate’s age, and his prospects for surviving life, we should concentrate on which political philosophy we want our kids, and grandkids to grow up with. We should be discussing our life values and the reasons that we believe in them.

My parents were staunch Democrats. They made one “X” on their ballot. They believed in President Franklin Delano Roosevelt as the saviour of the working class. Mom and Dad, lived through the depression, they blamed President Hoover for everything that went wrong with the economy. Yet, when I think about how they taught me to live, they were as conservative as the day is long. They never spoke of conservatism, but they lived it. They wouldn’t have understood what “Green” meant, but they lived more “Green” than any modern citizen does today. Their bottom line philosophies:

“If you don’t have the money, don’t buy it.”

“When you have land, you will always be able to feed yourself.”

Mom wasn’t talking about acres or hundreds of acres, she was talking about a back yard. She made our tiny yard into a farm. She raised vegetables, chickens, flowers, and some grass too.

“Never waste.” Mom knew how to mend socks, shirts, and pants. She knew the value of re-cycling hand-me-downs, and somehow we managed to survive without knowing we were poor.

“Welfare is for people who are worse off than we are.” My Dad would have hung himself before he accepted money from the government. He came to this country with the clothes on his back, got a job, learned English, took abuse from his co-workers, and managed to feed and educate three kids.

If you believe in big government, and the philosophy that Big Brother should take care of you, that’s okay. You should vote for the Liberal.

I happen to believe that the government is way too big, and the National Debt is out of control. If you want to tax me to pay off the debt, okay. If you want to tax me to pay for more social programs, go fly a kite.

I’m voting conservative even if the candidate is 101 years old. He’d be the much wiser choice.