Sarcasm At Its Finest

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Harley Davidson Closing Plant Due to Declining Sales

INSIGHTFUL (AND FREE) ANALYSIS:

Apparently the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles.  Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn’t buying any at all.  A recent study was done to find out why.  

Here are the reasons why Millennials​ don’t ride motorcycles:

  1. Pants won’t pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
  2. Can’t get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
  3. Can’t use 2 hands to eat while driving.
  4. They don’t get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
  5. Don’t have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
  6. Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
  7. Motorcycles don’t have air conditioning.
  8. They can’t afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get educated.
  9. They are allergic to fresh air.
  10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
  11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
  12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and can not be controlled by touch-screen.
  13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
  14. It’s too hard to take selfies while riding.
  15. They don’t come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
  16. Motorcycles don’t have power steering or power brakes.
  17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
  18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
  19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
  20. It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
  21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.

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Liberal Sh_t Hole

If ever there was a shit hole of a place within our borders it is the city of San Francisco. I just came across a map showing outdoor defecation spots with in the city.

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Sorry San Fran but the map is almost solid brown. In another article, a dingbat in California proudly proclaimed that Silicone Valley companies won’t locate in the middle states because there is nothing there for them. Here is what she (Dumb-shit) said:

“Melinda Byerley, MBA and founder of Timeshare CMO, a Silicon Valley-based tech start-up, tweeted out Saturday afternoon describing what middle America could do to “get more jobs in their area.”

“Byerley says that the first thing those in middle America need to realize is that “no educated person wants to live in a shithole with stupid people.” Particularly, in a “shithole” filled with people who are “violent, racist, and/or misogynistic.” In Byerley’s opinion, “big corporations,” do not consider moving to the heart of America because “those towns have nothing going for them.”

San Francisco is in the Silicone Valley area and it makes me wonder why the nerd-heads love living near piles of feces on the sidewalk. At least in the Mid-west our piles of outdoor feces are within fenced areas sometimes referred to as barnyards.

Silicone Valley companies don’t dare hire people from the Mid-west because they are smart enough to ask for more money than the favored Asian workers they so love. Trust me, I traveled to Asia because my company was one of those who wanted to take advantage of low wages. Why did I have to go there? Usually it was to train a bunch of Asians who spoke the King’s English, and had scholastic degrees and diplomas knee-deep, but couldn’t understand how to make a plastic mold work. The same molds, when in America, were operated by young men with high school diplomas who set records for production. Why? Because our high school diploma was the equivalent of a college degree in Asia. The people we used to maintain our molds were experts trained here in the Mid-west, and they knew how to deal with equipment requiring a degree of precision not yet understood in Asia.

True, Silicone Valley has done some really good work developing software that allows us to excel, but because of this they also believe their own personal defecate does not stink. Sorry Silicone Valley, but I’ll take the smell of cowshit and horseshit over your human

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waste any day. I hold the line on pig-shit, it is the worst. Maybe I should box up about ten pounds of pig crap and ship it FedEx to the lady from Silicone Valley who abhors Mid-westerners.

More Fake News?

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It is a known fact that Catholics do a lot of kneeling while venerating God. Kneeling is a form of adoration and is done to show a person’s holiness and love for God. Catholics genuflect when arriving at a pew in church. The Catholic Mass is loaded with genuflections at various sacred segments. We kneel during the consecration and the body of the mass. When the mass is concluded we genuflect again when we leave the pew as a sign of our respect for God, we do it automatically. So, when I see a line of football players kneeling in the stadium I see a line of very holy men adoring the flag of our country as we sing the National Anthem. How much better can one get to show that kind of love and respect for our country?

Evidently the flap in the news about how unpatriotic these men are is another fake news item. What they are really doing is venerating the flag in a most holy way.

America Needs A Dictator

I’m wondering if the American dream has self destructed. With all of these hate groups running around free to do as they please, and obstruct others the question of whether or not liberty and freedom have been out-grown. When the country started we had an entire continent open to men who could find a place here where they could do as they please. If you had a gripe with someone and needed more space you moved west. When living in the wide open spaces, if a desperado knocked on your door looking to steal what you had, you could shoot him, or worse he could shoot you shove your body out the door, and move in. More than four hundred years have passed since the Pilgrims found the continent, and two hundred and forty-one since the country began, and the population has grown from a boat full to over three hundred million people have moved here to escape a place they felt was oppressive. They came with many new ideas of what they needed to be free, and to have liberty. In time the population has grown more dense, and the wide open spaces have narrowed significantly. You can’t just shoot someone who bothers young get away with it anymore.

Every law that has been passed encroaches on our freedom and liberty. Usually, the laws are for good reason i.e. to protect us from ourselves or from someone else. We now have so many laws that a new industry has grown up around it. We no longer send our kids to work in factories because they don’t exist here anymore. We send our kids to law school,  medical school, political science school, or finance school. All of these new industries have been pointing us toward a loss of liberty and freedom. It is easy to see how too many lawyers all needing to feed families will work to defend us from the thousands of laws being thrown at us. It is almost as easy to understand how having too many doctors begins to make us feel we have aright to health care, and political scientists are all dreaming up new ways to make government bow to demands like eliminating freedom of speech, or making me like someone of a different race or color. Political Scientists also come up with brainstorms like socialism, Arab Spring, Black Lives Matter.  Too many bankers are inundating us with dreams of living the high life by investing money we made working in factories. So where is a guy going to go to get away from all of this, MARS? If you want a factory job you have to move to China, Mexico, Central America, or the far east. The problem is that when we begin thinking about what we’d have to change in order to go live in another part of the world we realize that America is not such a bad place after all. If only there was peace, no terrorists, or protest groups.

I propose that we should install a Dictator. They have unique ways of dispatching protestors who oppose them by killing them, or throwing them into imprison first, and letting them die a slow death in prison. Dictators have very strong connections to the military, State Police, local police, and body guards. One nod to a chief and you are smoke. The big problem with dictators is that they don’t allow anyone to have freedom and liberty except themselves. What a dictatorship does accomplish is to unite all the different protestors into one big solid group that might be big enough to fight back. When we study the past, and we only have to go back a few years to see solid examples of dictatorships we find that the protestors never had a large enough base to fight back. Not until another country or a huge group like the Muslims became involved,. Take Saddam Hussein as an example. No one wanted to take him on until the USA decided it needed to play, and took him out. Of course that left a big void to fill. We were naive enough to think that the Iraqi protesters would all embrace democracy and set up elections within a week after the pulled Saddam out of his hole. Except for one thing. Democracy doesn’t come in a box from Amazon.

Muammar Gaddafi is another dictator that required the muslim world to take him out. Rebels from several muslim states banded together using money supplied by the USA. The rebels chased him down and finished him in fine muslim fashion. Except he also left a huge void. The protestors have not united, and the country is a mess. Under Gaddafi it was a country filled with miserable people. After Gaddafi, Libya is still filled with miserable protestors.  Another dictator whose days are numbered is Bashar al-Assad in Syria. SO far it is taking, ISIS, jihadi rebels, Syrian rebels, The USA and Russia, but the job is still not done. When it finally does happen, will these various groups come to a sensible way to lead the country? Not a chance, the war will go one until the last man standing is a Muslim.

So why don’t we take a chance with a dictator and see if we can save America.

In Perfect Harmony

Maybe I am being too simple, but I believe there is a way to settle disputes over race, color, nationality, political beliefs, and what ever strikes one as necessary to live in this world. There is a TV program that I have been watching which is very amusing, exciting, and cathartic. The program is called BattleBots. Seemingly mild-mannered men and women of various ages, disciplines, and colors take extreme pleasure in designing robotic devices to pit against other robotic devices.  The teams line their bots up in a secure cage and when the light turns green they drive the bots remotely using radio control against one another. Axes spin, wheels turn, hammers pound, flippers upend opponents and make them fly, and pieces of bots scatter about the arena. It all ends when one of the bots is disabled and cannot operate.

Not a single bot is the same. just like a Nazi is different from a white supremacist, or a Ku Klux Klansman. The only similarities between bots is their desire to annihilate one another. The owners are two-faced. One face is the face of inventor, builder, and creative genius. The second face is that of warrior beat the hell out of your opponent battlebot driver.

What an amazing experience it would be to buy a ticket into the biggest stadium nearest home to watch gladiators from the Antifa movement fight to the death against someone from Black Lives Matter. Or even better yet, pit a White Supremacist against a Black Lives Matter agent. Only one would walk out of the caged arena to be named to the next rung of the competitive ladder. Eventually, we would see a clear winner emerge, bloodied, scarred, and limbs missing from the many bouts between enemies. At the end only one is declared a winner. The audience places a an olive wreath upon his head and sends him home to live another day. Because there is great depth in all of the various movements the arena will come to life again in a new war to declare the winner of stupid ideological beliefs.

We, on the other hand would be greatly entertained by watching these factions pulverize one another with a vengeance and meanness never before experienced in war.

Today, we read and watch various ideologues go at it in places like Charlottesville NC. They beat each other and even kill for the pure joy of defending their ideas hoping to win the rest of us over to their way. The most foolish of these are those who candidly destroy monuments of heroes who in the distant past fought for an ideology different from theirs. They mistakenly believe by doing so they will change the world to make it a better place. Erase history and all vestiges of slavery, and prejudice will disappear. Humanity will be saved, and we will all live in peace and sing the Coca Cola song I’d Like To Teach The World to Sing.

Instead we wile away hours on social media sites hoping to find the meaning of life. We wander aimlessly through life holding our phones before us with a finger on the video button, hoping to capture that glimpse of life that will go viral on YouTube and make us famous or rich. It is hard for me to imagine where our society is headed, and what good will evolve from our aimlessness. Instead, I try in my own way to serve the community in simple meaningful ways, one simple act of kindness at a time. Evolution took billions of years to get humanity to this point, and it may take another billion to get us through this current phase.