Sarcasm At Its Finest

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Harley Davidson Closing Plant Due to Declining Sales

INSIGHTFUL (AND FREE) ANALYSIS:

Apparently the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles.  Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn’t buying any at all.  A recent study was done to find out why.  

Here are the reasons why Millennials​ don’t ride motorcycles:

  1. Pants won’t pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
  2. Can’t get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
  3. Can’t use 2 hands to eat while driving.
  4. They don’t get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
  5. Don’t have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
  6. Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
  7. Motorcycles don’t have air conditioning.
  8. They can’t afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get educated.
  9. They are allergic to fresh air.
  10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
  11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
  12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and can not be controlled by touch-screen.
  13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
  14. It’s too hard to take selfies while riding.
  15. They don’t come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
  16. Motorcycles don’t have power steering or power brakes.
  17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
  18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
  19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
  20. It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
  21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.

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