How this Election Might Change a Sport

Posted on 05/11/2012 by Grumpa Joe

Americans love their guns. The Second Amendment guarantees our right to own a gun. The founders believed that we the people should keep arms to be able to overthrow a rotten government if needed. I’m not sure just how that would happen in today’s world because the local police can put down an insurrection in a New York minute. God forbid we ever got beyond that level and the Military came after us. The concept is great, but the execution of a revolution needs work.

Last week I received a meme from a friend who is a gun-toting NRA member and an avid hunter. A lot of guys I know love hunting and evacuate their homes during deer season to bag a buck. Here in Illinois the hunters must use shot guns. We are too populated a state to use a real gun for anything.  Nevertheless, there is a great number of hunters who trek the woods during late fall in search of their deer. For all the Bambi lovers out there, the deer population in Illinois during 2011 exceeded 700,000. Nation wide there are 1,500,000 car-deer crashes a year, and of these there are 150 fatalities. I don’t feel sorry for a Bambi killed by a bullet or arrow.

We face a serious threat to the loss of our gun rights. I’m afraid that if Obama gets a second term he will sign the United Nations Treaty banning guns. Basically, he will abdicate the sovereignty of America to the United Nations (If you think Congress is hopelessly deadlocked now, just imagine what will happen when the UN decides our fate.) Obama won’t care because he won’t be running for a third term. This treaty will forever change our right to go shoot a deer, but it won’t kill off our ingenuity, nor our will to go hunting. We will just do it another way.

The picture below is proof positive that American Ingenuity is alive and well.

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The Meaning of Life

Posted on 04/11/2012 by Grumpa Joe
Jalapeno poppers.

Jalapeno poppers. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From my friend Roger in Florida.

   THOUGHTS TO PONDER

Number 8

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6

Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years

Number 4

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 3

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought 

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

– – – and as someone recently said to me:

“Don’t worry about old age–it doesn’t last that long.”

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Trust Me I’m An Engineer

Posted on 03/11/2012 by Grumpa Joe

One of my engineer friends sent me this series of photos and I just have to share them. These inventions are ingenious for the most part, but my all time favorite is just plain stupid. Thanks Rich for a genuine belly laugh. These people are real aren’t they? Will someone SNOPES me on these photos?

There isn’t any need for a Weber grill at this house, just pull up a chair and light up the charcoal.

An emergency fix which probably became permanent because of its simplicity and functionality.

Have you lost your exhaust pipe?

Just reach into your clothes closet and steal the coat hanger from your best suit.

Now this invention is a space saver. I’m sure the only place this guy had for installing a washing machine was in his john. All the plumbing was right where he needed it. I’m not to sure about the way he has the washer mounted, but it looks scary at best.

I’ll never want to sit on that toilet while the thing above me is spinning through the rinse cycle.

Morning sausages ready in a jiffy, I bet the wife appreciates the nice shiny look she gets on her blouse when she irons.

Grandma has the best idea yet. This is something I will try the next time I work on a  new recipe. The darn instructions are always covered with flour, eggs, or some other stuff used in cooking.

I bet this guy lives in a one room apartment. A rather unique and inexpensive way too cool your hot computer.

Quick draw McGraw has it all figured out. I wonder if his wife is looking for her slipper.

Hey, this fix beats taking the car to the dealer to get a new handle. I’m sure the dealer would charge several hundred dollars. I love the rubber band he uses to get the handle to return.

Need an egg beater quick. A battery-powered drill and a pair of scissors works fine.

This one cures the problem of taking home all the groceries on a bike.

This guy’s Chinese mother in law was too old to squat any more so he rigged a sit down toilet for her.

I hope this not a union electrician at work.  He lives on borrowed time for sure.

The world’s laziest guy couldn’t walk down a flight of stairs to pick up his laundry. My favorite after the electrician.

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Buk Buk Bara-a-a-k

Posted on 28/10/2012 by Grumpa Joe

 

When I was a kid, my mom raised chickens in the backyard. I often heard the hens clucking and the rooster crowing. Eventually they made it to our Sunday dinner table. You know what? It didn’t matter how much they strutted their stuff, eventually they all made it into the  pot, and they all tasted the same.

The current rooster-in-chief will eventually make it into the pot too.

Obama’s foreign policy to ass kiss the muslim world is what causes him to fear calling them terrorists. He goes out of his way to refrain from calling their horrendous deeds “acts of terror.” In my neighborhood we called a “spade a spade.” It is what it is Mr. President. Grow some gonads and take the step to be a Commander-in-chief. Call a terrorist what he is a terrorist. Terrorists commit terrorists acts. See that wasn’t hard was it?

I never thought the possibility of living through two atomic bomb attacks in my lifetime was a reality. I do now.

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Late Summer Evening In Frankfort

Posted on 07/09/2012 by Grumpa Joe
Old Plank Road Trail

Old Plank Road Trail (Photo credit: reallyboring)

Yesterday, after supper I took a long walk into town. I went by way of the mushroom water tower on route thirty and then south to the Old Plank Road Trail. I arrived in historic Frankfort and saw the remnants of cruise night. At least what was left of cruise night. It was after seven when I ambled into town and the sun was only a glow of pink in the western sky. There were still a few die-hard car guys sitting around chatting in front of their hot-rods. There were about six in all. Too dark to take pictures I thought. I kept walking to Oak Street and Kansas. There across the street was Francesca’s Fortunato restaurant lit up with mini-lights. Patrons sat on the new sidewalk seating area enjoying the warm humid evening while eating and drinking with friends. Neat, I thought to myself as I continued to walk. Then the same scene unfolded in front of the Smokey-Barq restaurant on the opposite corner. I’ve got to take a picture I told myself.  I will be  sorry if I don’t at least try. Besides, what have I got to lose, a few electrons? The only camera was in my phone. What the heck, point and shoot. Surprise, an image froze on the screen. That started me thinking about another photo essay on Frankfort.

Here are the few pictures I took.

You may read my writing about Frankfort, many times I whine about the high cost of living and the latest infra-structure improvement we don’t need, but overall I love this little (16550 souls) town, and will most likely be buried from here.

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