My View

I believe that if we could look back in time to the beginning of man on earth there would emerge a pattern of behavior that is still being practiced to this day, men are men and women are women. When Adam first found Eve in the Garden of Eden how did he approach her? Did he immediately realize that he must woo her with words, and flowers, and candy, or did he see her beauty and decide to play feely-uppy to learn what it was all about?  Men are like that you know. Our brains react to the visual, and our first tendencies are to follow our instincts to explore the wondrous specimen of humankind that God placed on this earth for us.

The issue of sexual harassment is not new, I am sure that men touching women is a practice as old as Adam and Eve, but it has been redefined from an act of courtship to one of harassment. Modern man has to realize that modern woman has come into her own right. She is equal to man (as she always was), and must be treated with the greatest of respect. After all men don’t go around touching men in the workplace, that is if you are heterosexual. The great one who is an uncle to all of us and who lives in the fancy domed house on the Washington Mall has deemed the practice of a man touching a woman as evil and as such she has a right to call it out and to punish the man. Unless of course for whatever phase of hormonal balance she is in when she may even encourage the practice. The poor man, however, not knowing the phase of lady-hormones uses the level of his own hormones as the gauge to react.

Uncle did not take men’s hormones into consideration when he wrote the laws on sexual harassment. His intention was to assure himself of further employment by catering to the desires fo the Women’s Liberation Movement. The result is that we have women who take advantage of this law, and choose to strike out against the men she believes need striking. One problem in this process that uncle invented is the hypocrisy of lawmakers. They invented the law, but decided that adherence to said law only applies to the lowly common man. Therefore, we have a conundrum, that is we have the uncle-men who women accuse of inappropriate behavior, and who truly believe the law is for the lowly serf and not for them.

So what are people to do? Surely, we have grown  intellectually since Adam and Eve. We have increased our knowledge and understanding of the human body. We are very aware of the effect of hormones on our psyche, and we have developed intensely strong will power to resist temptations of any magnitude, so what are we lacking? It is my opinion that we have forgotten about the natural impulses of a man to a woman, or of a woman to a man. That impulse is there but the sexes are not always synchronized to each other. Why? I don’t think there are enough words in the dictionary to use in all the tomes written on this subject because the reasons for disparity between the sexes is infinite.

The best solution is to use one that I grew up with. When a man does something inappropriate to a woman she hauls off and slaps the shit out of him. Trust me that works. One slap across the face will redirect the man’s attention from his intention and reset his psyche. There is no need for laws, or for complaints, just plain old common sense. Well, what if the man decides the woman hurt his feelings and files charges against him? Let’s just say that she can explain to the authorities exactly why she mis-aligned his jaw. In the good old days, a man’s wife would further the damage to his psyche and jaw if she found out about his behavior, especially in a public forum.

I guess we are just too educated and too civilized to think and behave in such crude way anymore. We prefer to take the litigious route and let judges decide what is best for us, instead of our own brains. Then we write letters to our man in uncle’s white house to write new laws to keep people from behaving like people. It is kind of like taking guns away from people to stop people from killing each other.

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