How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
· Venison for dinner again? Oh! Deer.
· A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
· I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
· I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.
The police have nothing to go on.
· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro – what a rip off.
· Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.