Who On Earth Dreams These Up?

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How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

· Venison for dinner again? Oh! Deer.

· A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

· I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

· I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.
The police have nothing to go on.

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro – what a rip off.

· Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

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