Alien Surge

A few weeks ago, I posted a cartoon depicting Obama pulling the Arizona-Mexican border to the north of Phoenix. My research on immigration frustrated me because I could not find a website to explain what the rules are for obtaining a green card visa into the USA. Today, I struck oil. One thing about the transparency of this administration, they put the information out there, but it is so layered in departments that it is dam near impossible to find.

In the Department of Homeland Security website is a tiny department referred to as the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. Isn’t that a mouthful? I found the rules there, but not the cost. I scoured the net for another hour looking for references to the cost of obtaining a green card. The best answer I found is an average of $6000.00. WOW! The average time to obtain a card is 3 to 6 months if you fall into the privileged needs category. If you are a peon, the time is 15 to 24 months.

The US Citizenship and Immigration Service manages to eke out a million green cards and a million work permits every year. The claim is that the applicants cover the cost of the department. A short review of their budget confused me. I am not an accountant, but the good Nuns of Our Lady of Hungary grammar school taught me numbers. I can recognize billions when I see them. The best I gleaned from the budget is that they spend between $21,613,000,000.00, and $50,138,000,000.00 per year. The good Nuns also taught me to divide, and I calculate the cost of those green cards and permits to be between $10,806.50 and $25,069.00 apiece. Didn’t I just say it costs the applicant an average of $6000 to obtain a green card? Who gets that money? Probably a lawyer.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to determine that a person making the minimum wage, and working eighty hours a week can amass $55,000 in the time it takes to wait for the paperwork to process. So, why do I want to get a green card? A US worker sees that money as poverty level wages. The illegal alien sees it as a fortune with which he can buy his home town.

All this transparency stuff is making my head spin. It is time for a Grey Goose Martini. Before I do though, my recommendation is that we begin Comprehensive Immigration Reform by dissolving the US Citizenship and Immigration Service, and use the money to build a Great Wall like the one they have in China, except we coat it in Teflon.