PSA-201105-More Useless Information

Posted on 05/11/2020 by Grumpa Joe

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ZOOM Trivia

Glass    takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Gold    is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years.

Your tongue    is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

If you stop getting thirsty     you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Zero    is the only number that  cannot be represented by  Roman numerals.    (note from Sandy – perhaps because zero wasn’t considered a number in Roman times.  That happened in middle ages) 

Kites    were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

The song Auld Lang Syne    is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.

Drinking water after eating    reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent. Drinking a glass of water before you eat may help digestion and curb appetite.

Peanut oil    is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F.

The roar    that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10    living things live in the ocean.

The banana    cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.

Airports at higher altitudes    require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

The University of Alaska    spans four time zones.

The tooth    is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece,     tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.

Warner Communications    paid 28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday, which was written in 1935!

Intelligent people    have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A comet’s tail    always points away from the sun.

Caffeine    increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.

The military salute    is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up,    you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

When a person dies,    hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.

In ancient times    strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.

Strawberries and cashews    are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.

Avocados    have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.

The moon    moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.

The Earth    gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.

Due to earth’s gravity    it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.

Mickey Mouse    is known as “Topolino” in Italy.

Soldiers    do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.

Everything    weighs one percent less at the equator.

For every extra kilogram    carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.

The letter J    does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

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Day 54-SIP-Talk To Me

Posted on 11/05/2020 by Grumpa Joe

Today, the thought occurred to me what will I title my posts after COVID-19 is dead? Then the opposite thought came to mind, what if COVID-19 is never gone? Will I still be using a day count to express the stay in place era? All of this is me trying to avoid the future. Why do we fear the future? Because we don’t know what it holds. I was trained to list my greatest fear and below that form two columns. In the first list all the things that can happen to me if the fear is realized. In the second column answer what is the worst thing that can happen to you if that fear comes to pass? The idea, is that if we analyze our fears they won’t be as scary as they were when we didn’t know what the outcome could be. In the case of COVID-19 the worst thing I fear is death. What is the worst thing that can happen if I die? What can be worse than dying of COVID-19, dying of old age. Dying is dying and it is something I have to accept whether I like it or not. At my age dying is imminent. I don’t spend my days thinking about dying, so why would I be afraid of dying from COVID-19? As my mother always told me, you have to die from something.

Yesterday, Mother’s Day frittered away in total waste. The only great activity I managed was a Zoom meeting with all of my kids and grandkids. Surprise, surprise all of them appeared before me except one who is in an essential job and had to work. Poor kid, he is a chef in a nursing home and well, we old folks love to eat.

This was the first time I used the Zoom service with my clan. It was nice to gather and all talk at once and try to make something out of the conversation, then everyone realizes that we are just making noise and then we all stop simultaneously, and then there is deathly silence. Eventually, one of us would reinitiate a conversation and the whole thing got cooking once again. In the beginning my second grand daughter was not there, she was sleeping since she works nights at her hospital. Later she joined us as she prepped for work. She is also an essential worker, a nurse. Her mother the same, but she had a day off, her father the same, but he is now working from his house. My oldest son is also considered essential since he is an engineer in a company that makes laboratory equipment to analyze stuff. He has to go into the factory everyday.

One of the funniest parts of the meeting was the show the dogs put on. Once a family sat on a couch they were joined by pets who felt they were being left out. Number three grandson gave us a cello concert and was accompanied by the bellow of his pet beagle. We all laughed. The beagle continued to howl until the concert ended.

We lasted this way for 90 minutes and then I decided it was time to call it quits, but not before getting agreement from all that this will be a good thing to do again on a regular basis. I will set up the meetings and send the notices with the links to join.

My son-in-law sent me a text with a picture of my daughter and grand daughter placing a rose on the grave of my first wife. Nice, I thought, even I don’t do that. Every time I go to the cemetery to visit the girls I ask myself just what do I accomplish by coming here? I visit, I trim the grass around her stone, I pray, and I speak to her as if we were sitting together at home. I have a habit of talking to her every day as if we were side by side. In fact, I do that daily with both wives. Sometimes, we talk individually, and sometimes we are a trio. Weird? I don’t need the cemetery to make that happen. I make it happen where the hell ever I happen to be when the conversation begins. The thing I hate the most about these talks is that I am the only one speaking. In life these ladies were quite loquacious. I had so many years of it that I have become accustomed to hearing a woman speaking to me and now that I am alone the silence often drives me nuts.

I have to end this now because it is time to talk with Barb and Peg.

‘If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

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Day 47-SIP-A Letter To My Friends

Posted on 03/05/2020 by Grumpa Joe

3 May 2020

To My Lion Friends:

            It seems like forever since we last met, but it has only been since our last government allowed meeting in February. I miss you all. I miss the meals together, the drinks, the congenial fellowship, the back slapping, and hilarious but crude jokes. I feel like I should be doing something more than just sitting around avoiding a chance meeting with a virus. There has to be something we can do as a club that does not involve meeting in person and face to face as a group. 

There is a way to have a meeting using technology called Zoom, and it might even be fun. What is Zoom you ask? It is a virtual meeting that takes place via the internet. If you agree, I will set a meeting time (like at 6:30 p.m. 9 May 2020, our regular meeting night) and then you will click on the link in the email that takes you to the meeting. Your face and voice will be heard on the screen. Lady Lions please have your make up and hair done before signing on. Male Lions please wear your Lions Vest, pants are optional since we’ll only see your face. Shaving is also optional, but you may want to show off your new COVID mustache, or beard.

All of us will be seen on the screen in separate frames. If you don’t have a computer with a camera, you can substitute a smart phone or tablet by calling a local-number in the same e-mail, If that doesn’t work you can call in on a regular phone but we won’t see your face. That may be a good thing. If you are looking grizzly on Monday and don’t want to scare the rest of us you can substitute your high school graduation picture by using the share-upload feature of the program.

You Too Can Be on This Screen

            Of course, with so many people on the same phone call the meeting leader will have to shut off your sound, and only give voice to those who raise a hand (click on the hand icon) to be heard. That will be better than our regular meetings where the one who speaks the loudest gets the nod over those who are too meek to shout-over. Members who would rather speak to their cliques like you do at a regular meeting you can do so through the chat feature in total privacy. That too will also be an improvement over our regular meetings where the general sound level gets so high it drones out the President.

Of course we will not feature our monthly buffet dinner, but you may bring your home cooked tv dinner to the meeting and eat while the rest of us watch you and chat. Drinks will not be available either, but again, you can put a straw into the neck of your favorite libation and suck it down at will. If you happen to disappear from the screen we will know you had too much. If you won’t be home, don’t be bashful and call from your car, but be sure the phone is in a cup holder and aimed at your face. That way you won’t have to put your beer down.

I ask you to respond to the following:

1.) Do you want to meet this way? Yes or no

2.) Send your service ideas, and questions in advance

3. Good jokes are always welcome as long as they are appropriately phrased to keep them clean.

Here is hoping we can Zoom soon to serve our community.

Respectfully yours in Lionism,

Lion Grumpa Joe, Past President

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Day 23-Quarantine-Group Meetings

Posted on 09/04/2020 by Grumpa Joe

This week I had opportunity to participate in three group meetings by phone. All three were different and I learned a lot from each, mostly how to operate an online video meeting. This afternoon was probably the most interesting because it was the most attended with eighteen participants, and because it was a support group for the visually impaired, not everyone had video. The service is called ZOOM. I have to admit it is a far cry better than the one I used when I was still working twenty years ago. I guess there has been some advancement in the past two decades.

Why am I attending a support group for the visually impaired? Several reasons: 1.) I am a Lion and we are Knights of the Blind as commissioned by Helen Keller (blind, deaf, and mute) in nineteen twenty-five. 2.) As a Lion, I want to understand the hardships that visually impaired people encounter.

There are many things that sighted people take for granted. Like being able to get into a car and to drive someplace, read a menu at a restaurant, or social isolation. What I was surprised to learn from this group is that they all sound as frustrated as I am about having the stay in place. One would think that blind people would be stuck at home most of the time, but they are not. Many spoke about not being able to get out to the store, or to church. Vision impaired people have trouble finding transportation, but somehow manage to find rides when they want them or need them. Most have recruited support systems for themselves.

This meeting was semi-formal in that the leader opened with an uplifting prayer and started the conversation. After that it became a friendly banter between people just as any group of friends would have. The group leader announced that they will hold a ZOOM meeting every week at the same time until such time as the COVID-19 is dead.

The second meeting I attended was a Lions Club Board meeting. I recommend we do this on a continuum since we finished a pretty complete agenda in thirty-five minutes. The third meeting was a Lions training session. The leader conducted a Power Point slide show with lecture while the attendees all showed at the side of the screen. During the question answer period attendees clicked on a icon of a raised hand so the moderator could give him the floor. This also worked good because it cut out people talking over one another. This meeting also lasted forty minutes.

One great thing that COVID-19 is doing is forcing us to use the technology that is available to us. This evening, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday, parishes all across the country will conduct video services.

I plan on opening a personal ZOOM account for my own use so I can gather all my grandkids together from three states for a face time phone chat on Easter Sunday.

Easter was always a huge celebration for my family. I have fond memories of my mother cooking and baking for the Easter morning breakfast, and the family gathering that followed. My wives Barbara, and Peggy celebrated the holy day similarly even though one was of Polish descent and the other Irish. Only the foods varied. My daughter and daughters-in-law have continued the tradition within our family. Now that we are a thousand miles apart it is difficult if not impossible to carry on the tradition as a combined family. That is why I am hoping the ZOOM service can allow us to gather as a group once again.

 

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Day 21-Quarantine-Dependency

Posted on 07/04/2020 by Grumpa Joe

Five ways to beat the Corona Virus

Twenty-one days since I enter this life of near solitary confinement. I say near because I still get out and walk and when I do I see people. I rarely speak to them, but I do speak to friends on the phone. My biggest adventure was to break out the car yesterday for a quick trip to the drug store. I used the drive through for the very first tie in ten years. My prescription met the minimum requirements and I didn’t even have to pay this keeping my hands away form the tube. Once at home, I washed my hands according to the protocol.

My day was somewhat strange because I was extremely tired and decided the cure was to nap, I did. The nap didn’t really work well, but I forced myself to prepare a supper and after some wine I felt great. Could it be that I am hung-over most of the day? Could it be that my system requires a bit of alcohol to tune me up? Dependency would kill me for sure. The idea of needing something so badly that my body sends messages is scary.

While fighting the blahs I also forced myself to the shop to glue some pieces together and to begin the second of three main elements in my new creation. Oh my God! the last phrase of my sentence jumped to the paragraph above. Have this ever occurred to you? I am typing on a laptop with a touch pad, and if I touch or drag a finger over the pad while typing the text suddenly skips to another part of the page. Annoying to say the least.  Sometimes I will go on for entire sentence before I discover the I am typing in the middle of the first paragraph.

After I complete this post I will leave the confines of the house to the confines of my garden. I have one more area that needs a spring clean up. If I wait longer the new foliage will pop up through all the dead leaves and last year’s detritus. It doesn’t make for a pretty garden. Gardeners are funny that way, besides like colorful flowers and unusual horticultural matter planted in artistic beds they love neat and clean beds. That means not old rotting foliage, neatly tilled soil surrounding flowers, and healthy corona free plant matter. I wonder if the corona virus can attach itself to living plants the same as it does to humans? Wouldn’t that be a trip?

Later this evening I am attending my first ever Zoom board meeting. It is the first Tuesday of the month and that is the scheduled day for the Lions Club board of directors to meet. Zoom is an app and service that we download to our computers and then register for a meeting with a Zoom generated code. It allows those who register to conduct a conference call with the added pleasure of seeing the attendees by way of their cameras. It is a giant face time phone call. Anyway, this service will allow us to discuss how on earth we will serve the needs of our community while remaining socially distant.

The garden beckons me. It is 64 degrees F out, the warmest it has been this spring. I can’t waste the opportunity to feel some warmth after a long winter.

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