It All Adds Up to Ugh!

Posted on 24/08/2023 by Grumpa Joe

My life has never been this amazing. This week, my car odometer turned 186,000 miles, and I gave it a huge Yahoo! Never have I owned a car that carried my sorry ass so faithfully for so many years and miles. Previous transport appliances never lasted more than 110,000 miles. They were all rusted, oil-leaking, and unreliable. But like many love affairs, this one also, may be coming to a rapid end.

It all began when I noticed that my tires began showing the wear bars between the treads, and the car has been leaning left, indicating a need for wheel alignment. The “maintenance required” light has been on for the past two months. Stranger, yet, during the past week of ninety-degree days, the air conditioner has been blowing hot air into my face. Compounding that, there is a strange squealing sound straining my ears whenever I back out of the garage in reverse. The frosting on the cake was applied today when I took the Death Star to the Toyota dealer for its regular oil change.

As usual, when I go in for the hundred-dollar oil change, I decide to get my money’s worth by asking them to answer some questions like those posited by the list of strange experiences above. Never ask for trouble someone is likely to find it for you. Steve, my friendly service advisor of seventeen years, came to me with the report. He was shaking his head negatively as he chased me down in the luxurious waiting chamber. Oh, Oh, this won’t be good messaged my mind. My mind was right. The good news came first: all my gripes from the list above have been fixed except one; the squealing noise is what I suspected the brakes are in need of new brake pads, and by the way, while we were looking, we found that the boot on the drive axle is leaking and needs to be replaced, and the transmission gasket seal is seeping. I fought back with “that seal has been seeping for the past seventeen years, why would I change it now?” Anyway, Ca-ching went the cash register as the oil change bill came to $371.00 after a special $40 discount.

I have written several positive blog posts about the merits of owning a Toyota, and now I am faced with adding more accolades to the former post. This week I replaced the tired tires with the fourth set, and aside from tires and brakes, I have paid a minimum for failed parts. It is the finest car I have ever owned and now, after spending all this money to keep it running I have decided to keep it until it becomes the last car I ever owned.

I decided it to be my last car because while I was at the dealer, I took the opportunity to peek at some new cars. I immediately went into sticker shock of an immensity that overwhelmed me. In the year 2021, I was at the same dealer getting an oil change, and I took the same peek at the new models. The one I fell in love with had a sticker price of $46,000. Today, that same model is priced at $60,000. Thank you, President Biden, for being such a strong world Asshole who supports the Ukraine war, and the solar and wind industries over fossil fuels. You never got my vote, nor will you ever! I am almost at the point of resuming political cartooning and expressing my opinion on this blog again.

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Day 36-Quarantine-Car Doctor

Posted on 22/04/2020 by Grumpa Joe

Today was doctor day for the Deathstar. I took my Toyota Avalon to the dealer for service. For the very first time since 2005 I overran the recommended oil change mileage. Since this car has given me the best reliability and service of any other that I have owned I wanted to continue adhering to the maintenance practices I began when I bought it.

2005 Toyota Avalon, I fondly named it the Deathstar.
1983 Mercury Sable, I got Christmas cards from the tow company every year
1992 Oldsmobile Intrigue-I really loved this car

At the beginning I had the oil changed every three thousand miles which was the recommended practice of all the American auto makers for many years. After four years of this, Toyota came out with new mileage guidelines and set the marker at five thousand miles. I have driven this car for more miles than any other car I have owned by a large margin. I have owned two previous cars a Mercury Sable which made it to 110,000 miles and followed by an Oldsmobile Intrigue which I sold at 120,000 miles. My Avalon is currently at 158,000 miles and might be the final car in my life.

I am not afraid to push this car hard, I have driven it at 100 mph for extended miles when traveling the western states on very good roads. I have loaded it with all types of equipment and materials as one would use a truck for. I have driven it in the extremes, 110 degrees F through the desert of Arizona and -30 degrees F in the Chicago area. Most of the miles were racked up while traveling the USA and Canada on interstate highways, but many miles were driven on the gravel pothole filled back roads of the country. One thing I have never done is to race with the car. I learned my lesson once when as a much younger man I accepted a challenge to drag race a youngster while driving my GMC van. The van had a very big motor and was notorious for it’s ability to haul ass. The light turned green and I floored the accelerator. Much to my surprise my opponent streaked out ahead of me. My van went clunk and coasted across the intersection. I blew the transmission. I was lucky to get home by driving slowly in low-low gear.

When I reserved my spot with the dealer I asked what kind of protective gear I should wear. The attendant told me they practiced social distancing and wiped down all the chairs between customers. When I arrived, much to my surprise the waiting area was set up so every other lounge chair was removed and the ones that were there were six feet apart. I bought my computer so I could continue to read my book, and as I sat in the bar area I witnessed an employee come through and wipe down all the seats with disinfectant.

2020 Camry TRD

2020 World’s Ugliest Car

I resisted any impulse to buy a new car, although I spotted a special sport model Camry which I liked. If the Avalon model looked as good as that Camry, I would have driven home in a new car. Unfortunately for the dealer I happen to think the 2020 Avalon is the ugliest car every made by anyone. The entire time I was waiting I never came in close contact with anyone except the service advisor and I stayed six feet away from her. She handed me my credit card holding it by the edges.

On my drive home I took the interstate highway and found traffic to be just a tad less than normal for the time of day. Going to the dealer, I took a state hwy that passes through Frankfort, and traffic was non-existent. Gasoline prices vary from $1.99/ gallon in Frankfort, to $1. 35/ gallon in Bourbonnais where the dealer is located. As usual, I had just filled my tank in Frankfort yesterday so I didn’t need gas.

Yesterday in a Zoom meeting with my Tuesday night Stray Bar Club friends, I promised to stop and visit Bob and Carol from Manteno a town next to the dealer. In the interest of staying COVID-19 free, I opted out of the visit. I also skipped my usual stop at the Farm and Fleet store where I load up on bird seed when I am in the neighborhood. Instead, I rushed home to the solitude of my castle where I have not seen, nor heard a single soul except for the news broadcaster on TV. This too shall pass.

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Day 34-Quarantine-I’m Sorry

Posted on 19/04/2020 by Grumpa Joe

Back on Day 12, I wrote a sarcastic piece about GM and their promise to build ventilators for COVID-19 patients. I really didn’t believe they had a chance of coming up with something that looked different from a Chevy or Cadillac. What I failed to remember is that they had an empty plant in Kokomo, Indiana where they made electronic parts for Chevies and Cadillacs. It was a natural for making ventilators. Where they got the workforce to assemble them I don’t know. Maybe they rehired all the workers they laid off when they stopped making starters and alternators in the USA. What ever, I owe them an apology. I am sorry GM for making you the butt of my disbelief, and thank you for coming through for the country.

In my secret life I have always wanted a Cadillac, but changed my mind after owning a Toyota. The reason is that I take my trusty Avalon to the dealer for oil changes and tire rotations. Each time I walk through the shop on my way to the customer waiting area I walk between piles of Cadillac parts like motors, and transmissions spread all over the floor under skeletons of Cadillacs on lifts I Don’t think I have ever seen a Toyota spread out on the floor. When I first bought my car the dealer handled  Cadillac, Toyota, and Jeeps. They lost the Jeep line when Obama manhandled the automotive industry during the 2008 economic melt-down.

 

 

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Damn Toyota Let Me Down

Posted on 31/12/2017 by Grumpa Joe

It is the last day of 2017 and what am I doing? Nothing. I’m writing an angry blog piece about a car that let me down. Lately I’ve been bragging about how good my Avalon has been to me, but today that has changed. I’ve written about the lousy experience I had with my 1969 Corolla, and how it kept me from buying another Toyota, or any other piece of Jap-Crap for thirty-six years. Once I calm down I’ll be able to explain rationally how I really feel about my Avalon. Right now the bitter sting of having to fix a car in -5 degree weather still has my shorts in a bunch.

Yesterday, I left the house on my way to my stepdaughter’s sixty-second birthday party. I gingerly placed her gift on the back seat along with a walnut roll wrapped in aluminum foil along with a fresh bottle of Champaign to help with the celebration. The temperature in the garage was low at thirty degrees. Outside it was six below. We haven’t had a winter like this since the nineteen eighties. You know, the Liberals ordered the world to go into warming mode so they could impose exorbitant taxes on us to feed the tyrants of the world, and to enrich themselves by trading carbon credits. I’m here to say the warming trend is over. By next winter the pundits will be crying ice-age once again. I like global warming cycles they keep me comfortable in the winter time. I hate ice-age like winters when I freeze me ass off. Anyway, I pushed the magic button and the Toyota chattered at me. It is that bone chilling noise one gets when a battery dies and the solenoid clicks away.

This morning I mentioned to a friend that since I have owned cars I have had a streak of bad luck with break downs when it is cold. Below zero cold makes stuff break, it makes weak stuff fail, it makes tires split, and it makes car owners very upset. What can I do? I am so dependent on a car to get around that I don’t even think about walking two miles in below zero temps to get to Starbucks. I could spew another thousand words talking about my winter break down experiences but I won’t, I’ll speak of something good instead, like improved battery life. During my life with VWs, Fords, Oldsmobiles, and Mercurys It was not uncommon to have to replace a battery every two years. Since I bought the Avalon batteries have improved, and now last for six years.  My car is  thirteen years old, has 143000 miles on it, and the second battery failed. So even though I blame the Toyota for letting me down it is the battery that is the root-cause. Since the battery is not what I sit in to drive me places I have to blame the car.

I wish all who read this a very Happy New Year without any cold weather trouble.

 

 

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Busted

Posted on 06/07/2012 by Grumpa Joe

A few weeks ago Peggy and I were driving home from Santa Fé, New Mexico. We passed through Oklahoma on the Kilpatrick Turnpike. I am totally familiar with toll roads and auto payment lanes, but the signage in Oklahoma confused me. I saw a sign saying PIKEPASS and decided yep I want to go on the Pike. I blasted past the CASH exit at seventy when I realized my I-PASS wasn’t going to work. Had I made a sharp right turn across three lanes in a flash, I might have made it into the pay lane. Oops, Oh Well.

By the time I arrived home a week later, a letter waited for me from PIKEPASS. They had my complete name and address, the exact date, and time of the violation documented in a very nicely and politely written letter of reprimand.

I called them this morning to ask what the toll charge was. I gave them the Transaction Number and a nice voice asked, “is it a white Toyota Avalon?” She very politely forgave the charge. I asked the nice young lady what technology they used to catch my violation. She answered, “a camera took a picture of your rear license plate as you went through.”

I commended her on Oklahoma’s speed and efficiency in apprehending a violator. I said if this happened in Illinois, I wouldn’t get a letter for ten years. She laughed politely. I commented that I didn’t want to take the chance of getting a ticket on my next trip through and have the cuffs thrown on me for having a moving violation on record. She assured me that wouldn’t happen.

The reason I am relating this incident is that Big Brother is watching us with capabilities that are unbelievable.

Doesn’t it make you wonder what else Big Brother does to creep into our private lives?

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