PSA-201020-I Can’t Stand It Anymore

Posted on 20/10/2020 by Grumpa Joe

Thoughts When in Quarantine Too Long


1. If poison passes it’s expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no
longer poisonous?

2. Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?

3. Do twins ever realize that at least one of them is unplanned?

4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called
double V?

5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to
fully work.

6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

7. The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”

8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today
everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.


Six great confusions still unresolved.

1. At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?

2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

3. Why is there a ‘D’ in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?




Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

Why isn’t a Fireman called a Water-man?

How come Lipstick doesn’t do what it says?

If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

Why do doctors ‘practice’ medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of
the patients?

Why is it called ‘Rush Hour’ when traffic moves at its slowest then?

How come Noses run and Feet smell?

Why do they call it a TV ‘set’ when there is only one?

What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?


Did you know that if you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you
get the answer to each of them.

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PSA-180208B-Just Wonderin’

Posted on 08/02/2018 by Grumpa Joe

ponder

Things to ponder during the coming year

(1) Isn’t it weird that in America, our flag and our culture offend so many people,

but our benefits don’t?

(2) How can the federal government ask U.S. citizens to pay back student loans

when illegal aliens are receiving a free education?

(3) Only in America are legal citizens labeled “racists” and “Nazis,” but illegal

aliens are called “Dreamers.”

(4) Liberals say, “If confiscating all guns saves just one life, it’s worth it.” Well,

then, if deporting all illegals saves just one life, wouldn’t that be worth it?

(5) I can’t quite figure out how you can proudly wave the flag of another country,

but consider it punishment to be sent back there.

(6) The Constitution: It doesn’t need to be rewritten, it needs to be reread.

(7) William F. Buckley said: “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other

points of view, and are then shocked and offended when they discover there are

other points of view.”

(8) Joseph Sobran said: “‘Need’ now means wanting someone else’s money.

‘Greed’ means wanting to keep your own. ‘Compassion’ is when a politician arranges

the transfer.”

(9) Florida has had 119 hurricanes since 1850, but some people still insist the

last one was due to climate change.

 

“If it’s not broken, we’ll fix it until it is.” U.S. Government motto

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PSA-171229-The Last Conundrums of the Year

Posted on 29/12/2017 by Grumpa Joe

* Do twins ever realize that one of them i­s unplanned?

* What if my dog only­ brings back my ball ­because he thinks I l­ike throwing it?

* If poison expires, ­is it more poisonous ­or is it no longer po­isonous?

* Which letter is sil­ent in the word “Scen­t,” the S or the C?

* Why is the letter W­, in English, called ­double U? Shouldn’t i­t be called double V?­ and why isn’t “m” ca­lled “double n”

* Maybe oxygen is slo­wly killing you and I­t just takes 75-100 y­ears to fully work.

* Every time you clea­n something, you just­ make something else ­dirty

– The word “SWIMS” up­side-down is still “SWIMS”.

– Intentionally losin­g a game of rock, pap­er, scissors is just ­as hard as trying to ­win.

– 100 years ago every­one owned a horse and­ only the rich had ca­rs. Today everyone ha­s cars and only the r­ich own horses.

– Your future self is­ watching you right n­ow through memories.

– The doctors that to­ld Stephen Hawking he­ had two years to liv­e in 1953 are probabl­y dead.

– If you replace “W” ­with “T” in “What, Wh­ere and When”, you ge­t the answer to each of them.

– Many animals probab­ly need glasses, but ­nobody knows it.

– If you rip a hole i­n a net, there are ac­tually fewer holes in­ it than there were b­efore.

– If 2/22/22 falls on­ a Tuesday, we’ll jus­t call it “2’s Day”. ­ (BTW, it does fall on a Tu­esday. Then again, who knew?)

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PSA-170129-More Questions

Posted on 29/01/2017 by Grumpa Joe

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1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10. Why are they called ” stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

12.. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas- What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree,
and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

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PSA-170122-Why?

Posted on 22/01/2017 by Grumpa Joe

ventureneer-why.jpg

1. Why do some supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

2. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

3. Why do banks leave vault doors open, and then chain the pens to the counter?

4. Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways, and put our useless junk in the garage?

5. EVER WONDER..Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin.

6. Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

7. Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? ;

8. Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

9. Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do ‘practice’?

10.Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

11.Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

12.Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

13.Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

14.Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

15.Why do they steriize the needle for lethal injections?

16.You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

17.Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

18. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

19. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

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