IN CASE YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING

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*A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.*

*A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.*

*A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.*

*A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.* Definitely not true check out the link

*A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.*

*A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.*

*A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.*

*A snail can sleep for three years.*

*Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.*

*All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.*

*Almonds are a member of the peach family.*

*An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.*

*Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child *
*reaches 2 to 6 years of age.*

*Butterflies taste with their feet.*

*Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.*

*”Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.*

*February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.*

*In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*

*If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.*

*If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.*

*It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.*

*Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.*

*Maine* *is the only state whose name is just one syllable.*

*No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.*

*Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.*

*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.*

*Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.*

*”Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and *
*”lollipop” with your right.*

*The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.*

*The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.*

*The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and *
*a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.*

*The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses *
*every letter of the alphabet.*

*The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.*

*The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read *
*left to right or right to left (palindromes).*

*There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.*

*There are more chickens than people in the world.*

*There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: *
*tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous**.*
*There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: *
*”abstemious” and “facetious.”*

*There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.*

*Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.*

*TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only *
*on one row of the keyboard.*

*Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.*

*Women blink nearly twice as much as men.*

*Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; *
*otherwise it will digest itself.*

*There, now you know almost everything!*

PSA-150706-Useless Info

These are very interesting…Don’t see how anyone could go a day longer, without this enlightment….

I have to try the one with the champaign and the raisin.
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A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2″ by 3-1/2″.

During the chariot scene in “Ben Hur,” a small red car can be seen
in the distance (and Heston’s wearing a watch).

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
(That explains a few mysteries….)

Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, “Elementary, my dear Watson.”

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per
side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange,
purple and silver.

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space
because passing wind in a spacesuit damages it.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.

If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will
instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who
discovered this??)

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down
so you could see his moves. That’s the opposite of the norm.

The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in
the USA.”

The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which
stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player
for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot
sink into quicksand.

Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a
piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin
look-alike contest.

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman
to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book
most often stolen from public libraries.

The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Hearts – Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds – Julius Caesar

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter “A”?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the “honeymoon”.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.”
It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Some Serious, Some Funny, Some Sad

This week I have had a bonanza of stuff come across my in-basket that is too good not to share.
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THE BATTLING BOYS OF BENGHAZI

We’re the battling boys of Benghazi
No fame, no glory, no paparazzi.
Just a fiery death in a blazing hell
Defending our country we loved so well.
It wasn’t our job, but we answered the call,
fought to the Consulate and scaled the wall.
We pulled twenty Countrymen from the jaws of fate
Led them to safety, and stood at the gate.
Just the two of us, and foes by the score,
But we stood fast to bar the door.
Three calls for reinforcement, but all were denied,
So we fought, and we fought, and we fought ’til we died.
We gave our all for our Uncle Sam,
But Barack Obama didn’t give a damn.
Just two dead seals who carried the load?
No thanks to us, we were just “Bumps In The Road”.
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An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The old man didn’t budge.
The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“Fred,” the old man moaned.

“Where you from, Fred?” asked the police officer.

With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied;
“The balcony”…….
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So true it hurts!

A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money …. he calls home.

“Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Alabama that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!”

“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”

“Just send him down here with $1,000” the young cowboy says,” and I’ll get him in the course.”

So, his father sends the dog, and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
“So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a
storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.” The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
“Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.

“Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

The father went white, and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!”

“I sure did, Dad!”

“That’s my boy!”

The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.

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The wisdom of seniors

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000.”

Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.  So he went to Dr. Geezer’s
clinic.

This is what transpired:

Dr. Young: — “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.”  Can you please help me?

Dr. Geezer: —  “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: — “Aaagh! — This is gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Doctor Young:  “Oh no you don’t, that’s gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak  —  I can hardly see!

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so “Here’s your $1000 back.”

Dr. Young: “But this is only $500.”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of story  —  Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer!”
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Goat’s Head
I was driving home and listening to a sports call-in program, carried by WGN in Chicago on SIRIUS. People were calling in, very upset, about the goat’s head that was sent to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts at Wrigley Field .

Then some guy called in from Indiana and said, ”Why are you people so upset ’cause someone sent a goat’s head to Wrigley Field ? Aren’t you Chicagoans the same guys that sent a horse’s ass to the White House? ”

I had to pull over.
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Missing wife:

Husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home….

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don’t know exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission, and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up.

Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.
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Not so funny

How to get $75k in benefits for you and your girlfriend.

This describes people that are not incapacitated or in need but lazy, immoral people that have no ambition and take advantage of the system! They also set the example for the next generation. There are organizations that encourage this behavior. By the way, this government money is your money as a tax payer. Governments have no money but what they take from the tax payer.

Follow these proven steps:

1. Don’t get married to her.
2. Use your mom’s address to get mail sent to.
3. The guy buys a house.
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
5. Section 8 will pay 900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn’t have to pay out the butt for family insurance.
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college for free being a single mother
8. Girlfriend gets 600 a month for food stamps
9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone
10. Girlfriend get free utilities.
11. Guy moves into home but uses moms house to get mail sent to.
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes. Now you both get to claim head of house hold at $1800 credit.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being “crazy” or having a “bad back” at    $1800 a month and never has to work again.

This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.

A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0 dollars.

An unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets.

21600 disability +
10800 free housing +
6000 free ObamaCare +
6000 free food +
4800 free utilities +
6000 Pell grant money to spend +
12000 a year in college tuition free from Pell grant +
8800 tax benefit for being a single mother
———
75,000 a year in benefits

Any idea why the country is 18 + trillion in debt???
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This is funny
Things that I trust MORE than Hillary Clinton:

1)  Mexican Tap Water
2)   A Rattle Snake with a “Pet Me” Sign
3)   O.J. Simpson showing me his knife collection
4)   A fart when I have diarrhea
5)   An elevator ride with Ray Rice
6)   Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
7)   Michael Jackson’s Doctor
8)   An Obama nuclear deal with Iran
9)   A Palestinian on a Motorcycle
10) Gas Station Sushi
11) A Jimmy Carter economic plan
12) Brian Williams news reports
13) Loch Ness Monster Sightings
14) Big Foot Sightings
15) Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton
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