I Feel Much Safer Now, NOT!

Version 2

A couple of days ago I pulled into the local Speedway to fill my tank, and there were Police squad cars parked all about the station. “Oh God, I hope I am not interrupting a robbery,” I thought.  I pulled up to the fill station and spotted the reason for all the cops. There, off in a corner surrounded by police was a military vehicle. A big heavy armor-plated vehicle. It had a turret hatch open in the roof, the windows looked bullet proof. The tires were huge and tough looking. There was one difference though, the truck did not sport a flag, or a USA, or an Army insignia, it is clearly marked Sheriff. What in God’s name does the county police need a military vehicle? An image of this thing driving on my lawn aiming directly for the front door flashed through my mind. Is this what will happen if I let the dandelions grow in my grass? Is this the dandelion enforcement tank coming to deal with me? Thank God my fill nozzle shut off and broke my train of thought. I got into my car and sped off as fast as I could.

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Take Outs

This morning I opened my email and found this gem from an engineer friend. For those of you who are close to my age, you will appreciate this wisdom, and for those of you too young to know what it means to live with all of the things that you have taken away from life, good luck. I wish you success in the enjoyment you have brought upon yourselves.

Grumpa Joe

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YES, THIS IS US!!
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!
And, we DO understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.

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SENIOR CITIZEN!

I’m the life of the party…..Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I’m very good at opening childproof caps…..With a hammer.
I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I’m smiling all the time, because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.
I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.
I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

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Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN, and I think I am having the time of my life!

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Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn’t send it back to them. Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway.
They won’t remember, even if they did send it.
Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let’s be happy
While we’re here.

MAY GOD BLESS US
AND MAY WE
CONTINUE TO THANK GOD !!