Filed under: Aging, Cartoons, Humor | Tagged: Memes, Senior wisdom | Leave a comment »
PSA-201205-God’s Decree
Posted on 05/12/2020 by Grumpa Joe
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that
seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses,
keys, and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and
saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose
coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and
stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would
have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom,
thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find, as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s
God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under
your breath.
Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can’t tell
them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use
the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital,
dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a
burning issue tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others; I need to go to the bathroom.
Filed under: Aging, family, Humor | Tagged: aging, exercise, Senior wisdom | Leave a comment »
Wisdom Shared
Posted on 15/06/2019 by Grumpa Joe
I love when friends send me stuff. The wisdom being passed around on the internet is amazing. All we have to do is separate the facts from the fiction and we are safe.
“SIX LITTLE STORIES” –
{1} Once all villagers decided to pray for rain On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.
That’s FAITH.
{2} When you throw babies in the air, they laugh because they know you will catch them.
That’s TRUST.
{3} Every night we go to bed without any assurance of being alive the next morning, but still we set the alarms to wake up.
That’s HOPE.
{4} We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.
That’s CONFIDENCE
{5} We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.
That’s LOVE.
{6} On an old man’s shirt was written a sentence ‘I am not 80 years old; I am sweet 16 with 64 years of experience.’
That’s ATTITUDE.
Have a happy day and live your life like the six stories.
When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it’s like a mini-vacation.
“GOOD FRIENDS ARE THE RARE JEWELS OF LIFE. DIFFICULT TO FIND AND IMPOSSIBLE TO REPLACE!
Filed under: Aging, Characters I knew, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: Senior wisdom | 2 Comments »
Take Outs
Posted on 13/06/2015 by Grumpa Joe
This morning I opened my email and found this gem from an engineer friend. For those of you who are close to my age, you will appreciate this wisdom, and for those of you too young to know what it means to live with all of the things that you have taken away from life, good luck. I wish you success in the enjoyment you have brought upon yourselves.
Grumpa Joe
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
YES, THIS IS US!!
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!
And, we DO understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
SENIOR CITIZEN!
I’m the life of the party…..Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I’m very good at opening childproof caps…..With a hammer.
I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I’m smiling all the time, because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.
I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.
I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN, and I think I am having the time of my life!
Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn’t send it back to them. Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway.
They won’t remember, even if they did send it.
Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let’s be happy
While we’re here.
MAY GOD BLESS US
AND MAY WE
CONTINUE TO THANK GOD !!
Filed under: Aging, Characters I knew, family, Humoor, Humor, Sarcasm, Satire, Seniors | Tagged: Change, Senior wisdom | Leave a comment »
