I’m sorry but these are too funny not to share. Again, it is only intended to offend liberal sensitivities.
Filed under: Government, Humor, Sarcasm, Satire, Uncategorized | Tagged: Chicago Hate crime, Memes | 1 Comment »
Buy It Back
Posted on 23/12/2016 by Grumpa Joe
I have a piece of advice for the artists lucky enough to have Ivanka Trump putting their art on her walls. If you don’t want her to see your art, offer to buy it back at the price she paid for it!
I would think you would want her to see it just to make her upset that the world is now using her to promote your piece of shit art works. Frankly, after seeing some of the work she has hanging I am appalled at her lack of taste. Of course it makes sense to buy it back so you can work on it to make it worthy of showing.
Just in case you are really interested:
“Who are some of your favorite artists?”
Ivanka Trump: “I love Christopher Wool and Cy Twombly.”
“There are also so many great younger artists that I really love including Wade Guyton, Nate Lowman, Alex Israel, Dan Colen, Joe Bradley, and others.”
Frankly, after viewing some of their works I will stay away from them. I sincerely believe they paint with the brush hanging out of their anus and swirling the paint onto the canvas with gaseous relief.
REALLY?
It looks like the artist hung a piece of canvas on a wall outside, and let people stick their used gum on it.
Filed under: Sarcasm, Satire, Uncategorized | Tagged: Alex Israel, ART, Christopher Wool, Cy Twombly, Dan Colen, Ivanka, Joe Bradley, Nate Lowman, Wade Guyton | Leave a comment »
Angry White Male
Posted on 21/12/2016 by Grumpa Joe
Ex-President Bill Clinton whom I love to refer to as Slick Willy has been loudly and angrily proclaiming that his wife lost the election to angry white men. Well, I fit into that category and I have just one point to make. Your clandestine accidental meeting on an airport runway with the Attorney General Loretta Lynch to discuss your grandchildren certainly didn’t help Hillary’s chances. Especially when, two days later FBI Director James Comey laid out an iron-clad case for why she should go to jail, and then declares that there is not enough evidence to even make a charge against her.
You see Slick Willy, the people of the country had enough trouble believing your wife before you helped her out of a really tough jam. We are not stupid, and can put the story together for ourselves. Because of your error Slick, Comey came out and implied her guilt, but then gave you what you asked for, i.e. to let her get away with breaking the laws.
Before I end I have a few questions for you:
Are you a white male?
Did you vote?
Are you angry that your wife did not win.
If you answered yes to any or all of these questions you are guilty of being among those whom you claim were responsible for Hillary losing.
Filed under: Election, family, Hillary, Sarcasm, Uncategorized | Tagged: Airport Meeting, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, James Comey, Loretta Lynch | Leave a comment »
Another Rotten Apple
Posted on 05/12/2016 by Grumpa Joe
It is unusual for me to rant about the same company two days in a row, but my current favorite Apple, has raised my concern. This morning I read a news bit about Apple developing a car. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh my ass off. This company that sits on a mountain of cash because of its current product line which they pretend to know a lot about is looking at getting into something they know nothing about. Excuse me Apple, but when you get your existing computers, and software right maybe you can take on a new project.
All day long I kept getting visions of an Apple car streaming through my mind. Like driving along in my Apple-aero when a message on the dash display reads “Upgrade available, download immediately. Push not now or it will happen automatically in 59 seconds.” Or how about a sudden shutdown that lasts for an instant and then resumes as if nothing has ever happened. Since we are all smart and believe in keeping our Apple products current we upload each new upgrade as soon as it arrives, but then the car does not work with any of the government infrastructure like auto slow, or stop for red lights because the Apple gurus decided older car models didn’t need the feature anymore.
Maybe I’m getting excited prematurely, but I just don’t see these guys owning the smarts it takes to design and build a car.
I had another flash that I was driving along when the car changed directions. A message flashed on the dash display, “your route has been changed to take you to the XYZ donut shop to take advantage of the daily special.”
I’m driving along when the message says “connection lost, manual intervention required.” I panic as I don’t know how to get to the destination without a functioning GPS, and I can’t ask SIRI because the system is down.
I’m sorry Apple, but you haven’t convinced me that your computer scientists know how to dress themselves, and the thought of having them design a car for me is scary as hell.
Another message appears, “Upgrade required to fix bugs in the braking, and steering systems.”
Filed under: Cars, family, Sarcasm, Satire | Tagged: Apple Car, Self Driving Car | 1 Comment »
Apple Is Rotten To The Core
Posted on 04/12/2016 by Grumpa Joe
This blog post is a rant aimed at Apple Computer in Silicon Valley. Your help forums are worthless. Unless the person asking the forum was conceived and raised by computer geeks the responses are totally unintelligible. Can you hire some people who speak everyday language?
Perhaps one of my readers can help me out. In the beginning I was very satisfied with my Mac computer and my I phone. Whenever I took a picture using my phone and then connected it to the computer to charge, the computer would automatically show all the new pictures from the phone in the Apple program called Photo. I clicked on a box marked import all, and my pictures transferred to the Mac.
I just spent several hours trying to determine why that process is not functioning. Based on the number of people asking the same question on the forums, I’d say it is a major Apple problem. What I didn’t see was any type of fix or a single work around that would allow me to move pictures from the phone camera to the computer.I did see many replies that sounded like a politician speaking in computer GEEK, a lot of fancy words but no real substance.
A few years ago, I trashed all my Microsoft computers in favor of Apple. They clearly had a superior operating system. Lately, however, Apple is rapidly becoming Windows like with performance issues.
Here is what I have to do to transfer a photo to my computer.
1.Share the picture on the phone to my e-mail address.
2. Open the email and save the picture to the downloads folder.
3. Move the picture from the downloads folder to my photo file on the computer.
Another problem which has snuck into the phone via upgrades, or as I refer to them downgrades, is that the camera in the phone saves photos as a rich text file what the hell ever that is, but my engineering degree tells me that anything that says text in a picture file cannot be too very smart. Rich text is beyond my feeble mind to comprehend even if it applies only to text. I now have all of my thanksgiving family pictures on my phone, but they are in rtf, and will not transfer to a photo file, Gee, I wonder why.
Apple should change their very clever logo to add a bunch of worms eating their way out of the core, because that is what the company has become.
Ninety nine percent of what Apple does is aimed at kids who will figure out how to use the Apple magic. Me, I’m too old to be wasting my available minutes trying to make this crap work. Give me super simple programs that work without a degree in computer science.
All of this triggered me to think politically. The current regime in charge of the United States has been working overtime trying to convince guys like me that what we need is New World Order. What that means is that everyone in the world is working off the same page to make the planet one big happyland amongst the many other inhabited planets of the universe, kind of like in Star Trek.How will this be accomplished if the world’s smartest and richest computer company can not make thier devices work together easily without the need for one on one GEEK assistance? Can you imagine making over 170 countries think the same way? Can you imagine getting those same countries to assimilate their cultures into one giant macro-culture? Can you imagine them all coming together on religion?
Nope, me either.
Filed under: Aging, Education, family, Sarcasm, Satire, Seniors | Tagged: Apple Computer, I-phone, New World Order | Leave a comment »
