Strange New Generation

Yesterday, I undertook a major step in regenerating my physical ability. Over the past several months, I have noticed that my legs and, in general, an overall body weakness happening. This was beginning to drive me nuts. Finally, I overcame the malaise and started taking a walk in the mornings before breakfast. No food until I walk. At first, it was a walk around the block. It felt like my legs were anchors, and I dragged them along in a shuffle. In my mind, I kept telling myself, lift your feet. The shuffle persisted, but so did I. By the fourth day, I was feeling a bit better and told myself it is time to raise the bar. Instead of walking around the block, I set the goal to walk to the library along the lake trail. I made it, but when I got home, all my energy was gone. The next day I rested, no walking. Then came Sunday. I went to mass, and came home for breakfast. I committed to help with a Lions event at the Farmer’s Market between 10:00a.m.-1:00 p.m. and decided that parking would be a pain, so I would walk. I did. I have walked into town hundreds of times before, never taking more than thirty minutes to do it. Yesterday It took me fifty minutes, but I made it. I have finally reached the point where I will tell the story I intended to tell in the first place.

The Lions had scheduled the Lions of Illinois Foundation sight and sound screening bus to come to Frankfort. It looks like a mini school bus, except it has no windows and is not yellow. Inside, it is separated into two sections: one for hearing tests and the second for vision tests. The Lion Volunteer who drove from Mattoon, IL (2.5 hrs) is also the trained technician administering the tests. We are his office office staff, signing people in, and directing traffic in and out of the bus. My job was to hail people attending the market and offer them a free screening. To do that I stood on the street in line with the Old Plank Trail bicycle path. It was busy with pedestrians visiting the market. Simultaneous to all this activity a number of Lions were there hawking tickets for our annual Wurst Fest. I was doing both, hawking tickets and vision screening.

A middle aged man about forty was semi-walking riding his bike through the crowd as he straddled past me I asked him if he had his Wurst Fest ticket yet? “What’s that,” he asked. I replied, “You are not from here are you?”

“No,” he replied, “I am in shock.” I asked him where he was from, and he told me Taylor Street in Chicago. He was far from home, so I proceeded to explain what the Wurst Fest is. “I am in shock,” he said again. I finally asked him “what is so shocking?”

“Everyone is married!” Then it came to me. Taylor street is near the center of Chicago in the U of I and Little Italy neighborhoods. Next to that is a string of hospitals, Stroger, Cook County, Rush, and University of Illinois. Young people abound in these areas. Some study and some work at the hospitals. They ride bikes and electric scooters to get around. They work, eat, go out at night to drink, listen to loud music, and hook up. They sow their oats. Then something happens and they find a life partner and enter the next phase of life; they wind up in towns like Frankfort with wives, kids, schools, churches, homes , Sunday hand holding or stroller pushing strolls through the farmer’s market etc. He just didn’t enter that phase yet, and maybe he never will, but at least he can say he caught a glimpse of it in Frankfort.

Pray Hard

It is over. I sent the manuscript to a publisher. Now, I can forget about it. If they accept it and send me money, I will accept it graciously. If they don’t, I will bask in the glory of having completed another goal. As I write this, I wonder which goal I will dive into next.

I think, I will start by turning off Grammarly. It seems, my knowledge of English Grammar is quite different than that of Grammarly. I like my version better. It sounds more like me talking. In the writing arena, I’ll try some short stories. The prospect of living long enough to pound out a regular book-sized story doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

Certainly, I will write for this BLOG more regularly. Most times it will sound like Joe Biden drifting off into a mindless stupor while his mouth is still moving and sound continues to flow.

Speaking of Joe Biden. I made the sad mistake of watching his entire speech at the convention. Was it really him who was speaking? He sounded exactly like when he gave us the State of the Union speech earlier in the year. Was it a robot programmed to move his lips like Joe? Or, was it a Disney holograph of him giving the SU speech? Either way, I can proudly brag that I watched Joe Biden give the last political speech of his long career.

One state I never traveled in was Delaware, and after witnessing Joe’s career I will stay away from all people who might have been dumb enough to vote for this guy so many times. How did he manage to last as long as he did? A better question would be how in the hell did he become president?

I do not look forward to seeing Kamala Harris become president because the few policies she is promoting sound like what we went through in the seventies/eighties when Nixon was trying to fix the inflation that Carter brought upon us. I agree that it is time that a woman become president, but please Lord not Kamala. She will become the new model for dumb blond jokes. Since what she proposes isn’t meant to be funny, it will hurt all of us. Just let her go back to the land of the crazies and give her a puppy or kitten to play with, but please Lord, don’t give her the keys to the atomic bombs.

PSA-240819-Wisdom in a Can

Wisdom of a glass of beer

“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer &   let dreams come true, than be selfish &   worry about my liver.”

Babe Ruth  

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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”    

Paul Horning  

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“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.     Coincidence?  I think not!”    

H. L. Mencken     

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“When we drink, we get drunk When we get drunk, we fall asleep.        

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 

So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”  George Bernard Shaw  

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”    

Benjamin Franklin     

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  

Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,  

But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”    

Dave Barry     

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“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”    

W. C. Fields  

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“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.”   

Professor Irwin Corey     

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“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group.  Salvation in a can.”    

Leo Durocher     

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One night at   Cheers,   a TV Sitcom,  Cliff Clavin  said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normy, it’s like this .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”

A Super Satisfying Word

Yesterday I typed a final word on the last page of my book: END

Now comes the next step: writing a prologue and a synopsis. I had to look up both words to determine if I understood them. The synopsis is a two-page, single-spaced effort describing the story in third person present tense. It took me ten years and 91500 words to tell, and now I have to give them the Readers Digest version. What is strange is that they want to read the synopsis to get interested in reading the whole thing.

I assume my first book submission has failed, as I have not received a contract yet. A company steeped in automation and AI would also have an automated rejection letter, but I am still waiting for a notice. The lack of news tells me to move on to another adventure. This BLOG may be it.

I Can’t Stay Quiet Anymore

Last night, Lovely and I went to a local fest called Lion Firecracker Dance. We deliberately arrived two hours after it opened because a previous experience warned me that the fun would begin at eight p.m. Lions support Lions, and I fully expected to see an ocean of yellow tees across the crowd. I saw one from the Frankfort Lions. We greeted each other with a. manly bearhug and sat at a table. The first thing he did was to lean in to my ear and ask me if I had seen any news programs within the last two hours. I said “no.”

He responded, “Trump survived an assassination attempt at a Pennsylvania rally. I nearly fell out of my chair. Immediately, I went to my phone and found a news item detailing the shooting. Over the past four years I have deliberately avoided writing my opinions about political matters because, frankly, no one cares what I think. I’d sooner waste my geriatric energy on butterflies and cicadas than on wasted old men like Joe Biden, a true communist from the moment of conception. I must admit, the assassination attempt awoke a mean streak in me. I said to my friend, it must have been a gun hating democrat because a republican wouldn’t have missed.

For the past four years, I have watched repeated attempts to discredit Trump and make people hate him. Instead, every try has made him stronger. Trump is the Road Runner in a Wiley Coyote cartoon. Just as Over the past four years, I have witnessed numerous attempts to discredit Trump and make people hate him. However, each attempt has only seemed to make him stronger. To me, it seems like Trump is the Road Runner in a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. Just like in the recent debate, which I watched to gauge for myself if age was affecting Biden’s performance.in the debate, which I watched to determine for myself if age was shadowing Biden like the Grim Reaper. I decided that the shadow cast on Biden by the Reaper over shadows my own. The thing that scared me most during the debate, were Joe’s eyes. He seemed to be speaking from fear. It is as if he feared Hillary Clinton putting him over her knee and spanking him if he misspoke. Or, Obama whispering into his ear, “this is a big f–king deal Joe, don’t mess it up. I listened to his words, and his sentences were coherent but he spoke as if in fear of his life, and he spoke softly but rapidly as if he didn’t get the words out quickly he would lose them.

Anyway, a God-fearing, gun-loving Republican would not have missed the shot. That is my story, and I’m sticking to it.