You Could Be a Winner

It has been awhile since I posted last. It has been a busy month for me as a husband, father, grandfather, Lion, and friend. Let me start with one of my most favorite passions, the Lions Club. Throughout my life I hated the task of raising money for causes. For the past seventeen years I have slowly evolved into a merciless machine with my handout asking people for monetary help. It is the only way a Lions Club can function. As much as I hate asking people to donate I have forced myself to do it with a passion.

Here is my latest appeal letter:

Dear Dan & Vicki:        

I am double vaccinated and mask free as I write this, and hoping the terror of COVID19 has ended for you as well. The year has certainly fulfilled the famous Chinese curse “May You Live in Interesting Times.”  Last week the Frankfort Lions Club got news that Frankfort’s Fall Festival is back on after a year off. We will return to holding our Wurst Fest with German music, food, beer, and frivolity. Our raffle still has a ten thousand-dollar first prize and the ticket will allow two people into the Beer Garden to enjoy the fun.  We limit ticket sales to two-thousand.

In spite of COVID the Lions kept meeting via Zoom, then part face to face and Zoom, then back to Zoom only, and then back to Zoom and face to face, and finally face to face. When we were finally cleared to have socially distanced meetings with the entire club our members turned out in droves. Everyone was starved for fraternization. We are all anxious to begin selling raffle tickets again to serve our community. 

COVID didn’t stop us from serving though, we only changed our processes. Instead of buying, collecting, packing food for delivery, we distributed grocery store gift cards mask to mask by handing an envelope through a cracked door. We ran a used winter-coat collection and then a sock drive. We collected 735 coats and 23,000 pairs of socks. We provided some people in need with comfort. We raised money by using matching grants from our employers and receiving donations from local businesses. We kept strict control over our donations so as not to drain the treasury, and we kept serving throughout. In spite of all our controls we ran short of money, and the time has come for me to ask you to buy a twenty-dollar raffle ticket so we can rebuild our treasury and continue to serve. Since we had such a poor fund-raising year I ask you to stretch and consider buying two or more tickets this time.

Please make your check for twenty dollars or more to “Frankfort Lions Charities” and send it to:

Frankfort Lions Charities

21334 Brown Drive

Frankfort, IL 60423

I will complete the ticket and send you the stub which is your passport into the entertainment garden.

Thank you for your support over the years. Without you the Frankfort Lions Club would not be as successful as it is.

Respectfully yours,

This is a real thing. If you choose to send me money for a ticket I’ll be happy to include you in the fun. Just remember to send me your name, address, and phone number. It would be a shame if you win and we had no information to get the prize to you.

It’s Wine Time!

My Update on COVID-19

With all the new knowledge of Covid-19 it is becoming more apparent that people don’t give a damn any more. Our Governor just announced that Illinois is not ready for Phase Four reopening. I agree. Last night after supper I was invited to meet a group of friends in town for a drink. I thought, why not? I’ll take my mask and have a beer with some friendly chatter. I’m tired of talking to myself even though I am the smartest person I know.

We were meeting at the bowling alley. Frankfort’s bowling alley is very old and has been in business non-stop since the forties. It is in a two story building which houses a number of shops. The bowling alley is on the second floor. Phase three rules state that restaurants and bars can open only if outside on patios with tables spaced apart and servers must were masks. The bowling alley has a small strip of property adjacent to the building which they fenced off and converted to a patio.  To make it nicer they installed a tent over the entire space.

When I arrived, the patio was crowded with people, none were masked. They congregated in groups around stand up tables, and were being served by an unmasked server; the owner behind a makeshift bar. It was an enjoyable evening seeing friends whom I haven’t seen in quite some time. I even managed to make a new friend who happens to live in my neighborhood on the next street over. That made me happy. What didn’t make  me happy was how congenial everyone was and handshaking like old times. That made me uneasy, and I couldn’t wait to get home to wash my hands. Granted, these people were ten-twenty years younger than me so they are not as affected by the virus. I’d like to think that I’m in great shape and have robust health enough to resist the virus or to beat it if I contract it. The statistics don’t say that. I should not take a Laissez-faire attitude about it all, I should maintain strict adherence to the Covid-19 protocols. I told myself that I must refuse new invitations to meet with my friends.

Will County, Illinois which is where I live is still reporting thirty-five cases of the virus daily with surges to over a hundred. That tells me the virus is still present and very close to me. Nationwide, the spread is concentrated in the southern states. They are stretching toward a peak. A month ago, my son in Texas reported to me that the virus was not very active, but now, the hospitals are nearing capacity and the number of deaths is increasing. This southern wave extends all across Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico and Arizona. When will it end, who knows? While it is stretching across one part of our country the northern states are beginning to allow people to travel and to enter the country from other places. No doubt, the virus will be like a ping pong ball going back and forth across the lines and probably changing forms as it does. The big news was that Disneyland in Florida reopened. They thrive on visitors from South America, and the virus is spreading like wildflower in Brazil; we shut down air traffic from Brazil.

In my younger days I would have dreamed up a plan to take my anger out on China. My plan would have been to drop a bomb with COVID-19 on Bejing and Shanghai. In my current state of mind, I have too much empathy for the common folk who live there. They wouldn’t deserve such treatment. So, I have to modify the plan to develop a bug that only evil government officials are affected by, but instead of that I will concentrate on developing a vaccine to take out COVID-19 and all forms of corona viruses. The only form of selective bug that I know of for taking out evil people is the bullet. It is better to think positively and to do what is least evil to mankind.

Learn Something New Everyday

Famous sayings about having a cold one!

https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver.”

Babe Ruthhttps://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

Paul Horninghttps://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think not!”

Steven Wright

https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.  So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”

George Bernard Shaw

 https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Benjamin Franklinhttps://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barryhttps://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”

W. C. Fields

https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.”

Professor Irwin Corey

https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group.  Salvation in a can.”

Leo Durocher

https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/BRILLIANT/food/png/400/beer.png?w=468

One night at  Cheers,  a TV Sitcom, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normmy, it’s like this .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.  In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”

Our Unfair Tax System Explained in Beer