“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” – Will Rogers
“We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. – Mark Twain
“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” – Rita Rudner
“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” – Leo Rosenberg
“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash
“At my age, flowers scare me.” – George Burns
“The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” – T.S. Elliot
“At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.” – George Orwell
“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers
“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.” – George Burns
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin
“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
“Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” – Conan O’Brien
“I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” – Albert Einstein
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” – Mark Twain
“You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.” – Joel Plaskett
“There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.” – Dennis Wolfberg
“Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.” – George Burns
“The idea is to die young as late as possible.” – Ashley Montagu
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” – George Burns
“Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” – Anonymous
