When a Yard Needs A New Look

A couple of days ago, I took a break from writing and sat on the patio, enjoying the shade and the birds and just thinking. I stared at a tree at the far end of the space, and my mind kept telling the gardener in me that several branches extended too far over the roof of the house. I thought to myself I’m going to have to trim four branches off that tree. Two of them are scraping the shingles on the roof, another one is headed for the roof and will touch by next year, and the fourth makes the tree look out of balance. The following morning I awoke and sat at the kitchen table having breakfast. Lovely got up came out of her bedroom and said Oh my God! What happened. She looked out at the patio and it looked a little like a mini tornado had come through during the night. Three of the four branches I thought needed to be cut, were on the ground. The falling branches raised all kinds of hell with Lovely’s potted flowers which were scattered throughout the yard. All I could think of was that I missed going to church the Sunday before and the Lord sent me a warning. I went to church this Sunday.

After seeing the tree with all those branches missing, I decided it isn’t worth keeping. I’m hiring an arborist to cut it down. It is time the yard got a new look.

PSA-240819-Wisdom in a Can

Wisdom of a glass of beer

“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer &   let dreams come true, than be selfish &   worry about my liver.”

Babe Ruth  

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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”    

Paul Horning  

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“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.     Coincidence?  I think not!”    

H. L. Mencken     

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“When we drink, we get drunk When we get drunk, we fall asleep.        

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 

So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”  George Bernard Shaw  

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”    

Benjamin Franklin     

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  

Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,  

But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”    

Dave Barry     

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“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”    

W. C. Fields  

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“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.”   

Professor Irwin Corey     

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“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group.  Salvation in a can.”    

Leo Durocher     

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One night at   Cheers,   a TV Sitcom,  Cliff Clavin  said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normy, it’s like this .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”