I Think I Sent This Before

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

3. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

6. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

7. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stare.

8. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”

9. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

11. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.

12. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.

13. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”

14. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up her own incision? Suture self.

15. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The Tree of Life

All you need to know about life, the universe, everything

Nutsrok

The humor and humanity of storytelling.

Tracey J Boothe Publishing Blog

Nature, books, exploring, publishing, photography, video, short films, lifestyle

Jim Campbell's

"Inside Every Progressive Is A Totalitarian Screaming To Get Out"

Wavy and Anchored

The waves may come crashing down, but they will not break me.

Journeyman's Journal

This is a journal of the art of woodworking by hand

KetoJENic Vibe

🥓🥑🍳 Health and Wellness based, Easy Recipes, and Keto Product Reviews

The Lockdown Chef

A cooking survival guide for those who don't know how

My Serene Words

Seeking Solace in the horizon of life & beyond

MRS. T’S CORNER

https://www.tangietwoods

ESL Ventures

Teach ESL and Travel the World

Heart Felt

This platform is for the people who likes to talk straight from the heart🤩

Suzette B's Blog

Inspiration and Spirituality **Award Free**

Bhutadarma

Nothing is impossible (at least that does not violate the laws of physics). When you can..violate the laws of physics!

I Know I Made You Smile

cartoons/humor/fiction/nonfiction

galesmind

Come take a journey through my mind

%d bloggers like this: