Who Am I?

I Used To Be A Normal Person

As a man, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like I or not, makes me ‘privileged’, a racist and responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget, and support myself.

I went to High School, paid my way through college, earned a degree, and have always held a job. But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was ‘advantaged’.

I am heterosexual, which, according to ‘gay’ folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am not a Muslim, which labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the Second Amendment, which makes me a de-facto member of the ‘vast NRA gun lobby’.

I am older than 60, making me a useless person who doesn’t understand Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

I think and I reason, and I doubt much of what the ‘main-stream media’ tells me, which makes me a ‘right-wing conspiracy nut.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort – not freedom or outcome or subsidies, which makes me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defense and protection of America for and by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand and salute during our National Anthem – so I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me, because I’m just not sure who I am anymore!  If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I don’t even know which restroom to use – and I gotta go more frequently!

Author Unknown