Old Guys Rule

Old Timer
A banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town Tom had lost his wife a year or so before; and rumor had it that he was marrying a ‘mail order’ bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.

Tom assured him that it was.

The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.

Tom proudly said, ‘She’ll be twenty-one in November.’

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.

Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. ‘How’s the new wife?’, asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, ‘Good – she’s pregnant.’

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, ‘And how’s the hired hand?’

Tom said, ‘She’s pregnant too.’

Don’t ever underestimate us old guys.

Lest We Forget

All I hear these days is how we must impeach President Trump for the very act of defending himself against attempts to bring him down. They call it obstruction of justice. I call it defending yourself from the savages. If anybody deserved impeachment it was President Obama. In order to make my case I submit the following list of Obama’s accomplishments. I remind you that these accomplishments are the basis of many Left Wing Americans citing “that’s not who we are” as a nation when arguing about President Trump’s actions.  If we want to be known as a lying, cheating, Constitutional trashing Nation, then we hold Obama’s accomplishments dear.

Here’s a list of President Obama’s accomplishments:

1. First President to be photographed smoking a joint

2. First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner. (Impeachable)

3. First President to have a social security number from a state he hasnever lived in. (Impeachable)

4. First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States.

5. First President to violate the War Powers Act. (Impeachable)

6. First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico.

7. First President to require all Americans to purchase a product (health insurance) from a third party. (impeachable)

 8. First President to spend nearly a trillion dollars on “shovel-ready”jobs (and then he literally joked “well I guess they weren’t so shovel-ready” about it (18 months later)

9. First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters. (Impeachable)

10. First President to bypass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat. (Impeachable)

11. First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those

with criminal convictions.

12. First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

13. First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Rick Wagoner of GM) to resign.

14. First President to terminate America’s ability to put a man in space.

15. First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation.

16. First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

17. First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law (Defense of Marriage Act) unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it. (Impeachable)

18. First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases.

19. First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state t is allowed to locate a factory.

20. First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).

21. First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had beenproperly issued years ago.

22. First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal).

23. First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-Corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case. (Impeachable)

24. First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.

25. First President to surround himself with radical left-wing anarchists.

26. First President to hide his birth, medical, educational and travel records.

27. First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing to earnit (he was President for only 7.5 months).

28. First President to go on multiple “global apology tours” and concurrent “insult our friends” tours

29. First President to have twenty personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

30. First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.

31. First President to fly in a personal trainer from Chicago weekly at taxpayer expense.

32. First President to repeat the Quran and tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.

33. First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American50 states (Mexico vs Arizona). (Impeachable)

34. First President to tell the military men and women that they should pay for their own private insurance because they “volunteered to go to war and knew the consequences.”

35. Then he was the First President to tell the members of the military that they were unpatriotic for balking at the last suggestion.

36. First President to sell guns to Mexican drug cartels in the hopes of abolishing our Second Amendment gun ownership rights. (Impeachable)

37. First President to abandon a US Ambassador to fight off a terrorist attack by himself. (Impeachable)

38. First President to approve the sale of US Uranium reserves to our Russian enemy. (Impeachable)

39. First President to knowingly abet a coup against a sitting US President because his party’s candidate lost the election. (Treason)

40. First President to pardon a traitorous US military man who defected to the enemy.

 

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