28 | February | 2018 | Grumpa Joe's Place

I Just Couldn’t Resist

Posted on 28/02/2018 by Grumpa Joe

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 —

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at
her. She
immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved
again.. The man seemed
more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)

what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, ‘Well your Honour, it was like this: when
the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her
condition. She sat down under a sign that said, ‘The
Double Mint Twins are coming’ and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to
smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and I could hardly contain myself.

But, Your Honour, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,

‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!’

… I just lost it.

‘CASE DISMISSED!!’

Filed under: family, Humor, Society | Tagged: Bus, Joke | 1 Comment »

Sarcasm At Its Finest

Posted on 28/02/2018 by Grumpa Joe

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Harley Davidson Closing Plant Due to Declining Sales

INSIGHTFUL (AND FREE) ANALYSIS:

Apparently the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles. Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn’t buying any at all. A recent study was done to find out why.

Here are the reasons why Millennials don’t ride motorcycles:

Pants won’t pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
Can’t get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
Can’t use 2 hands to eat while driving.
They don’t get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
Don’t have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
Motorcycles don’t have air conditioning.
They can’t afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get educated.
They are allergic to fresh air.
Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
The handle bars have buttons and levers and can not be controlled by touch-screen.
You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
It’s too hard to take selfies while riding.
They don’t come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
Motorcycles don’t have power steering or power brakes.
Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.

Filed under: Sarcasm, Sports, Uncategorized | Tagged: Harley-Davidson, Motorcycles | 1 Comment »

PSA-180228-Smile, Winter Is Almost Gone

Posted on 28/02/2018 by Grumpa Joe

Relax folks, February is almost done. All we have to endure is March, April, May, and June before summer finally arrives. Oh? Did I skip spring? Yes, that is because most times there is no spring we jump from winter to summer within a few hours, except we never know which day that will happen. In the meantime, enjoy some funny stuff.