Be Prepared

Posted on 15/05/2014 by Grumpa Joe

Fifteen year old Alex Halprin throws a tizzy fit about going to visit his uncle in Illinois. He and his mother quarrel often, and this time his mother gives in. His parents and young sister leave for the weekend to drive the hundred and forty miles to Warren, Illinois near Galena. Alex looks forward to a lazy weekend of video games. He settles into his room when a loud crashing noise and a sudden shock to the house causes it to collapse around him and catches fire.

Alex’s life changed dramatically because a volcano explodes in Yellowstone Park some thousand miles to the west and destroys his town of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and everything in between. This scenario plays out in the book titled “Ashfall” by Mike Mullen. I mentioned it in my post “He Scared The Crap Out Of Me.” The whole scenario of what happens when a super volcano like the one lurking below Lake Yellowstone in Yellowstone Park explodes, fascinates me so I downloaded the book to my Kindle and couldn’t stop reading.

 

Yellowstone diagram

 

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If ever there is a case for keeping the Second Amendment alive and well along with our private firearms this is the reason. When the country, literally the entire country, is under emergency management, we will need our guns and ammo to protect ourselves from our neighbors, looters, and the government.  Picture the moment when all power is out, two feet of ash covers the landscape and prevents all forms of transportation from happening, there is no communication of any kind, daylight turns into darkness for weeks, and survivors are looking for food, water, and shelter.  Mike Mullins paints a fairly bleak picture about how society will react. Small towns will fare better, as will enterprising self-sufficient farmers. Big city folks are in trouble. In the story, Alex and his friend Darla finally come upon a FEMA camp and think they are safe, wrong. The camp is nothing more than a guarded fenced area with meager rations, nonexistent sleeping quarters, primitive pit toilets inhabited by thousands of starving people.

Mullins convinced me that I should prepare for the worst and stock emergency provisions for my family. Oh yeah, I have to buy a gun and plenty of ammunition too.

Filed under: Book Review, children's writers, family, Government | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Father of the Century

Posted on 11/05/2014 by Grumpa Joe

Picture a father walking his daughter down the aisle to hand her off to the groom. Then, picture the Dad stopping at the foot of the altar to tell a heart-felt story about him, God and his daughter. This is the most sincere, honest, and hilarious yarn I have ever heard. Watch the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqEkPjUbmIA

Filed under: family, health care, Humor, Memories, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a comment »

Happy Mother’s Day Girls

Posted on 11/05/2014 by Grumpa Joe

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Andy Rooney’s thoughts on women over forty, Do you agree with him?:

“As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women.

Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.
A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.”

 

Filed under: family, Humor, Society, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

A Letter to the Commander in Chief

Posted on 10/05/2014 by Grumpa Joe

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This article is reposted from the Weasel Zippers website:

We embrace heroes in America. Senior Airman Brian Kolfage defines hero: the triple-amputee veteran of the Iraqi War overcame insurmountable odds to survive his horrific injuries. Kolfage recently sent a powerful – and damning – letter to his commander-in-chief:

“I nearly died in a war that you and most of your colleagues supported overwhelmingly, including the two presidents who came before you. Many citizens may not agree with waging war in Iraq to free the oppressed Iraqi citizens, but it’s something that warriors like myself have zero control over. I joined to serve my country and to better my life. I’ve seen things that you could never imagine, and they have made me the person I am today. . . .”

Read the full letter here. . .http://weaselzippers.us/185590-triple-amputee-from-iraq-war-has-a-letter-for-commander-in-chief-obama/ 

Filed under: Conservative, family, Government, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a comment »

He Scared the Crap Out of Me

Posted on 09/05/2014 by Grumpa Joe

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Well folks, A good friend of mine just scared the crap out of me with a link he sent.  Being the curious type I followed it and read about a plan our country has formulated to send millions of people from the USA to countries like Brazil, Australia, Argentina, and South Africa. Why? That is my questions these days. According to Geo-physicists Yellowstone Park is due to blow up any second, day, year, or millennium.  They don’t really know is what they are saying. What they do see, however, is animals  leaving Yellowstone. In their minds this is an indicator of a man-made global warming disaster in the works. The man-made global warming thingy is mine not theirs. I’m surprised that ALGORE has not used this as another super scare tactic to sell his carbon credit scheme to the world.

One of the funniest things in the article is that South Africa rejects the idea of accepting so many white people into their country because it would upset their culture. I guess they need some Progressives to teach them about the benefits of diversity. I wish I would have been on the line with that caller, I would have suggested we send only black people back to South Africa. I wonder if  that would have changed their minds.

The map above shows the predicted area that a volcanic eruption will cover. Good bye western states, when Yellowstone goes so do you. The article I read doesn’t explain what the effect will be it merely describes people being shipped to far away places. My question is which people? Those under ash, or those in the Eastern USA who might have survived? Notice how the effect of the volcano conveniently stops along our border with Mexico. Most likely that is because the Mexicans enforce their laws allowing US Citizens into their country.

No where in any of these links did I read about how the government would find and transport millions of people to new countries. How many airplanes would it take? How many flights? Would there be any airports or docks from which transport could take place? Perhaps they would prevail upon Russell Crowe to build an Ark to transport our sorry asses to Australia. Would they ship Conservatives or Progressives, or both? Would the IRS be involved? Will the big boom end all NSA spying inn us?

Another link in the article took me to a book called “Ashfall” by Mike Mullin. This story takes place after the big boom, and is one I have to read. It is in the “scare the hell out of young people” genre like Divergent and Hunger Games, but, I am old, why is it scaring the hell out of me?

After absorbing all of this stuff, I decided my goal to bash Obama is for naught because in a another second, minute, year or millennium, we, meaning him and me, will be digging out of the ash and there will be no wealth left to redistribute. EXCEPT, the Pope has some new news for us Catholics. He has asked the UN to consider turning the world into a Marxist state so all the poor can partake in the wealth. Not only will I die in the ash, my soul will roast in hell. My world is crumbling. All I can say is THANKS Rich, you made my day.

Filed under: Book Review, family, Government, Humor, religion, Satire, Science | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

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