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This is probably the longest spell I’ve had between posts since I began blogging. Something has happened to make my zeal for life, blogging, cartooning, and just plain living wane and fall into the universe. All I know is that it ain’t in my soul anymore. I even contemplated shutting down Grumpa Joe’s Place and disappearing into the sunset.
Winter blahs, maybe, SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) perhaps, but most likely it is a severe case of LAD (Light Affective Disorder). I thrive on sunshine and there is none this month.
I keep seeing past events playing a loop over and over in my mind. There are never any new adventures, just some really good old mind-movies that can never be duplicated, relived, nor even remembered exactly the same. Even walking does not pump me with feel good seratonin, only aches and pains that spread throughout the joint network.
There is so much in my life to be thankful for, yet the mind-movies continue to play the scenes of Thanksgiving past with all the old relatives, friends, and close family. Perhaps that is it. This year, will be the first time in fifty that my closest family will not be with me at Thanksgiving. Just writing that last sentence has brought on the melancholy.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life! a new mind-movie adventure.
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Filed under: family, grief, Memories | Tagged: Christmas, depression, health, Holidays, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Thanksgiving, Winter |
Grumpa,
you were with us on Thanksgiving, as every other day, in spirit. I hope we were with you the same. If you need a dose of sunshine, our door is always open…..always.
mj
Thanks MJ. I hope I can come south soon and take you up on the offer.
Grumpa Joe, I feel for you. I have truly enjoyed your writings and am hopeful that you will continue. This is the time of year to reflect and be thankful for the many Blessings that have touched our hearts. Be Thankful Grumpa Joe and have a Blessed Thanksgiving. Chuck
Thanks for the good wishes Chuck. I plan to do my best to enjoy the holiday to the fullest. You do the same.
Hey! Grumpa! Guess what…you’re not alone! I’ve been going through many of those same feelings these days. I attribute it to lack of sunshine, lack of warm weather and the thought that for the next six months or so, I’m going to freeze my tail off while I fill the gas tank or go out for the mail. The Holiday Season gives only brief respite because it’s become such a busy, commercial time that it’s here and gone before I’ve had a chance to sit and think about all of the things that the Christmas (let me not forget Thanksgiving first) Season is supposed to represent. Sorry about that Christmas reference…just in case you run a real PC blog here.
I know what you mean about the mind movies. I just refer to it as my continual reliving of the past and wishing that change sometimes wasn’t such a constant. People seem to come into and go out of our lives with annoying regularity-especially the going out part. The one thing that Keeps me a bit more upbeat, though is the thought that we are the only animals-as far as we know-that have the ability to relive good times. If I really concentrate, I can see, hear, feel and taste parts of my past that were very special to me.
As for closing down this thing here, let me tell you that I do read your stuff and I find it very…how should I say…entertaining. You have a way with words. I suppose that’s why you signed up for a blog site (or whatever you call these things) named wordsmith! Just because of you and having to comment, I signed up as well! It’s all your fault!
Anyway Grumpa, stiff upper lip and all that, keep this good stuff coming!
Remember-whether you are a pessimist or an optimist may not affect the outcome. It’s just that the optimist has much more fun in life.
Thanks Matt! It is good to know that I am not alone on dark moody days. Writing for my blog requires a vacation at times to rejuvenate the spirit and to get re-motivated.
As I have learned many times, the human mind reverts to negative at any chance it can get. It requires people like me to expend effort to stay positive, sometimes, the energy and environment just ain’t there.
Oh Grumpa Joe, I’ve never visited before but I feel for you. Is there some way you could do something this Thanksgiving to combat this? Maybe volunteer at a shelter or join a community Thanksgiving meal? Sending positive thoughts your way.
Thanks for the good wishes. Actually, I am cooking dinner for a family of nine. It is just that none of them are my own kids, they are my beautiful wife Peggy’s family. I love them as my own, but there is something about having your own kids around at a holiday.