My Gift to Leftist Environmentalists

I Grumpa Joe of Grumpa Joe’s Place, Frankfort, Illinois being of unsound mind and a horrible memory, revoke all rights to the following idea.

I bequeath to all elite liberal environmentalists who profess to save the planet from destruction by global warming caused by man-made carbon dioxide emission, and who profess to save the USA by withholding exploration and drilling for oil anywhere within the boundaries of the Continental United States in the hopes that said lack of drilling will drive the price of gasoline to ten dollars a gallon, the following patentable concept for a transportation appliance powered by a multitude of energy sources.

I forgo all rights, monies, and residual earnings that may accrue from the sale of these devices.

I also deem that profits generated from this invention be placed into trust for the sole purpose of funding the Obama Golden Parachute.

Diverse Energy Powered Personal Transportation Appliance

DPO Vehicle Specs

Estimated weight 24,000 pounds

Mileage Range

Gas Power-40 miles

Battery- 40 miles

Solar- add 5 miles

Wind- add 10 miles

Lithium Generator- add 101,000 miles

Pedals, 60 miles

Cost

Standard —$100,000.00

With optional Lithium Di-Sulfide Generator and fuel–$1,000,000,000,000.00

With optional rubber tired steel wheels-$110,000.00

Place your orders with Grumpa Joe at grumpajoesplace.com

3 Responses

  1. I’m sure GE would “donate” high tech parts for this as well. I know they need a tax break.

  2. If this was built by Government Motors, the UAW would consume the price of the vehicle plus 25% for “benefits”.

  3. Grumpa Joe, I do believe that you are starting to sound like an ultra liberal whacko. Very definitely one of your BEST to date. Keep up the good work. Thanks for saying what most of “We the People” would like too. Chuck

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