Points of View

Posted on 15/06/2018 by Grumpa Joe

AAKTAN 1930s ROMANTIC COUPLE AT DINING TABLE MAN KISSING WOMAN S HAND

Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male….. Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female….. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male….. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female… A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND . . .
He said… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said….You wear pants don’t you?
He said….Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said… That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said….. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ….Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said…. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said…..Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

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PSA-170914-UP

Posted on 14/09/2017 by Grumpa Joe

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I don’t know who wrote this, but it is genius. I have used the word UP in all the ways the author has shown in his examples. How about you?

 A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition. 

UP 

 
  Read until the end …..  you’ll laugh. 

 
  This two-letter word  in English has more meanings than any other  two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’  It is listed in  the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n]  or [v]. 


It’s easy to  understand UP, meaning toward the sky  or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in  the morning, why do we wake UP? 
 
At a meeting, why  does a topic come UP?  Why do we speak  UP, and why are the  officers UPfor election and why is  it UP to  the secretary to write UP a  report?  We call UP our friends, brighten  UP a room, polish  UP  the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean  UP the kitchen.  We  lock UP the house and fix  UP the old  car. 
  
 
At other times, this  little word has real special meaning.   People stir UP trouble, line  UP for tickets, work  UP an appetite, and think  UP excuses. 

 
 
To be dressed is one  thing but to be dressed UP  is special 

 
 
And this  UP is confusing:  A  drain must be opened UP because it is stopped  UP.

We open  UP a store in the morning  but we close it UP at night.  We seem  to be pretty mixed UP about UP! 


To be knowledgeable  about the proper uses of  UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.   In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes  UP almost  1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty  definitions. 
  
 
If you are  UP to it,  you might try building UP a list of the many ways  UP is  used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but  if you don’t give UP, you may wind  UP with a hundred or  more. 

 
 
When it threatens to  rain, we say it is clouding UP.  When the sun  comes out, we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains,  the earth soaks it UP.  When it  does not rain for awhile, things dry  UP.  One could go on  and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time  is UP! 

 
 
Oh . . . one more  thing:  What is the first thing you do in  the morning and the last thing you do at  night? 


U 
  
  P ! 


Did that one crack  you UP? 
 
Don’t screw  UP.  Send this on to  everyone you look UP in your address book .  . .. or not . . . it’s UP to you. 
 
Now I’ll shut  UP!

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What Is Hypocrisy?

Posted on 12/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe

via Discourse Today. … — Freedom Is Just Another Word…

Noun
hypocrisy (countable and uncountable, plural hypocrisies)

The contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, especially. with respect to religious and moral beliefs; hence in general sense, dissimulation, pretence, sham.
The claim or pretense of having beliefs, standards, qualities, behaviours, virtues, motivations, etc. which one does not actually have. [from early 13th c.]
The practice of engaging in the same behaviour or activity for which one criticises another; moral self-contradiction whereby the behavior of one or more people belies their own claimed or implied possession of certain beliefs, standards or virtues.
An instance of any or all of the above.

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