It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Green

dandelions.jpg

I love this view, except when it is my front yard.

Frankfort, Illinois is a typical mid-western community gloriously exploding into spring. Spring brings green, most conspicuously lawn. A suburbanite typically worships a green lawn. Every year there is one lawn on the street that is uniquely different from the others. Woe is the neighbor with a green lawn dotted with bursts of brilliant yellow  dandelions. This year I am the culprit.

I saw it happening at the end of last summer. After three months of watering, fertilizing, and weed killing the dandelions began to over power the lawn and sporadically popped through the turf across the  yard.

Determined to nip the problem in the bud I found myself up, and out early this morning with a large container of weed killer. Ugh! Chemical warfare is not pretty, but it is cheap. The cost is in human labor. After an hour and a half of shooting chemical into the heart of each weedy plant I ran out of chemical and cheered. It was time for a rest and a well deserved breakfast.

A more effective way to battle this nemesis is with a weeding tool, except I’m too lazy, and too weak to conduct that kind of warfare any more. Instead, the plants die a very slow death while I watch. Some of them may be gone in a week. The instructions claim that if properly applied a second application my be necessary after two weeks. It also states that if applied correctly, the grass around the dandelions will not be affected. I’ll let you know about that one. Its been my experience that the second application is a must and possibly one more after that.

Is this really necessary? Why is it so important to conform to the mores of the majority? The answer is simple. Yes it is necessary, but not because of the neighbors. I happen to love a lush green carpet of lawn spreading across the front of my house. I love the look of an entire street of lush green lawns spreading down the block. In direct opposition to my unhealthy affinity for viewing green lawns I also love to look of a baseball field sized lawn spotted with dandelions all across. As long as the field is not my lawn I love the look. Green is the reason I rent my winter home on a golf course. I love looking at huge expanses of green lawn running into the horizon. There is only one thing better than seeing a large green lawn, and that is a very large body of water like an ocean or a lake.

 

Read more: Muppets – It’s Not Easy Being Green Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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