While walking this morning it occurred to me that I spent a large part of my life away from my wife and family to earn a living. As many of us do, I spent more time than was necessary at work. I did earn and form a “nest egg.” My dream was to spend the autumn years of life with my lovely wife in play. We spoke of what we would do, we often expressed our dreams of what it would be like. We talked about living in the desert away from harsh winters.
Last night Peggy and I had dinner and conversation with the Ryans. Our time together was marvelous. We met at Villa Rosa in Frankfort. This little place, tucked into a strip mall, in the historic section is quiet. We can hear ourselves talk and think there. In addition, the food is great. It was over a year since we had dinner with the Ryans, and we had a lot to catch up on. Our last dinner was in the Phoenix area in 2007.
I walked along the trail listening to the birds and talking to Barb. While I spent all my time building the “nest egg” at the expense of missing time with her, she spent time developing friends. She had to do somethiing to fill the many hours that I was gone, she joined clubs in the neighborhood. She sang in the choir at church. She cultivated relationships. Barb always made sure that I met her new friends and I became a member of her circle. The Ryans are one of the couples I met through her activity in the garden club.
Since Barb died, it is her nest egg that I live on. It was the time she spent developing relationships like the one we had with the Ryans, that has saved me from major despair. It is all of the people who she cultivated as friends from the choir, the garden club, and the bowling league that have become my friends. They are the ones who have been my comfort.
Barbara never enjoyed any of the fruits of my nest egg, the one I spent so many hours away from her to build. All of her life she gave me love, and continues to show me her love with the payout from her nest egg.
Filed under: Garden, grief, Memories | Tagged: choir, friends, garden club, nest egg, regrets, Villa Rosa, walk | Leave a comment »
