I’ve Been Taken, Again!

Yesterday’s post about a Nazi invasion of the Great Lakes has been shown to be false. I am declaring it a hoax. I am so easy to hoodwink because I want to believe these things. The photos are of a Russian submarine not a German U-boat. As I looked at the picture I began to ask myself why the darn sub is so long and so large in diameter. U-boats were very small in comparison.

My opinion at the beginning about the possibility of sneaking a submarine into Lake Michigan holds firm. It is technically feasible. Everyone would have to be sleeping for it to happen, but it is feasible.

Sorry, the joke is on me.

This link will lead to the photos of the submarine in question. Russian Sub

Thanks Ken and Larry for straightening me out.

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Captured Nazi Submarine at the Museum of Science and Industry Chicago, Illinois

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An Obsolete Russian Nuclear Sub Being Towed to the Scrap Yard

Make Art For Your House

Last winter while lounging in the boring sunshine of Sun City West, I got the notion that it was time to do something I have never tried before. I painted a picture on canvas. I do well with pencil, and I have even worked in charcoal. My favorite medium is color pencil although I limit that to book illustrations. The only formal training I ever received  came from the nuns in grammar school. I took drawing class at a local Junior college, but I was already beyond what they taught me. The benefit of going to school came from doing pictures for assignments. The practice helped tremendously. The only schooling I had for working with paints came from watching an artist on Public Television do paint projects where the teacher did a complete landscape in a thirty minute time slot.

The engineer in me prescribed the method I used to make this painting. First, I have very little creativity to draw something from scratch. My brain does not work that way. I received a beautiful photograph of a cactus flower from a cousin by eMail. This would be my masterpiece. I’ll take you through the steps I used to paint an 18 x 24 canvas.

1. Make a hard copy print of the subject photo.

Photo printed from email

Photo printed from email

2 Draw a 1×1 grid on the hard copy print with pencil.

Draw a 1x1 grid on the hardcopy photo with pencil

Draw a 1×1 grid on the hardcopy photo with pencil

3. Start with a fresh canvas of any size. This description uses a 18 by 24.

Blank 18 x 24 canvas from Michael's

Blank 18 x 24 canvas from Michael’s

4. Add a grid that is square and proportional, i.e. the number of squares on the canvas equals the number on your photo. To make things less stressful, number the grid lines across left to right on both the photo and the canvas. Use letters to id the lines from top to bottom.

Canvas with grid penciled in

Canvas with grid penciled in

5. Begin transferring the picture to the canvas by marking where the subject crosses the grid lines. For instance, say your starting point on the photo crosses the grid at 4-c. make a point on the canvas at 4-c. Repeat this process until you have the subject shaped with dots on the canvas. Connect the dots lightly with pencil to make the subject appear on the canvas.

The pencil image of the subject is on the canvas, The photo is on the upper left to show the scale.

The pencil image of the subject is on the canvas, The photo is on the upper right to show the scale.

6. Continue the placing of dots until the entire subject is on canvas in dots. Connect the dots lightly with pencil to make the full image appear on the canvas.

The completed pencil image of the subject ready for paint.

The completed pencil image of the subject ready for paint.

7. Begin painting. I used acrylic paints because I don’t have patience to wait for oil to dry, and I like a water clean-up. The hardest thing to do is to match the colors. I always begin with a dab of white and add a color to it. In this case I added a tiny dab of red color into the white and mixed it completely with a popsicle stick. I continued adding red in ever so small amounts until I matched the lightest pink in the photo.

The first layer of pink. I chose the lightest color in the photo knowing that I could add darker hues over the light color easier than adding a light color over a darker one.

The first layer of pink. I chose the lightest color in the photo knowing that I could add darker hues over the light color easier than adding a light color over a darker one.

8. Continue adding colors.

The painting is about sixty percent complete at this point.

The painting is about sixty percent complete at this point.

9. Fill in areas to define the image. In this case I filled the area around the flowers with a grey that is in the background. This defined the petals and gave me a base to work the backdrop. Notice how the grey fill made the flowers pop.

The flower petals are ringed with grey. A serious painter might have begun by painting the entire canvas grey.

The flower petals are ringed with grey. A serious painter might have begun by painting the entire canvas grey.

10. Complete the painting by adding more to the background to make the grey blend in. Add more detail to the yellow stamen, and highlight dark areas to give the image depth.

Notice how the background has filled in closer to the flower petals, but the grey is still too apparent.

Notice how the background has filled in closer to the flower petals, but the grey is still too apparent.

11. Finished painting next to the starting photograph.

Pink Cactus Flowers, completed

Pink Cactus Flowers, completed

I did this on my kitchen counter top using a piece of cardboard for my paint palette. I bought a set of brushes, and a starter set of acrylic paints with a portable easel to hold the work. I spent less than fifty dollars for the set up, but have enough paint to do several more pictures.  I never painted for more than two hours at a time, and I completed the piece in about a week and a half. Will I ever become rich painting pictures? Nope, not a chance. I have a deeper appreciation of art now that I completed this project. I understand why art is so expensive, and also why the term “starving artist,” defines most people who sell their art. Today, there is a modern technique to make a picture faster, and with less effort. I could have taken the electronic image to Staples, and had them print the picture on canvas, and mount it for about a hundred dollars.

Pink Cactus Flower now hangs in my Great Room where I can enjoy seeing it everyday.

 

 

 

 

 

I Give a Rat’s Rear

The 2015 Monet Vision is in its Blizzard White phase, and I could care less. The snow is pretty looking at it from the warmth of a house, but it becomes a hazard when outside. I don’t care about snow at my age. I’ve seen enough to last the rest of my lifetime. No longer do I rush outside to shovel the drive or the walks. I tend to let it accumulate and hope the sun melts it off. That however, is a dream. It’ll be May before we get the temperatures to melt off a snow pile. Instead, I will drag myself out with shovel in hand to push the snow off the walks and the drive. If I don’t, then walking becomes hazardous, and tedious. I’ll just let the beauty of it all soak in a while longer before I venture out with shovel in hand.

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PSA-141109-Cliff’s Wisdom

buffalos

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the” Buffalo Theory” to his buddy Norm:

“Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

No Disrespect Intended

five-monkeys

PSYCHOLOGY-101 HUMAN BEHAVIOR EXPERIMENT If you start with a cage containing five monkeys, and inside the cage hang a banana on a string from the top, and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray ALL the monkeys with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result — ALL the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new monkey. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, ALL of the other monkeys beat the Monkey Crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new monkey. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment — with enthusiasm — because he is now part of the “team.”

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new monkey, followed by the fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana. Why, you ask? Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how today’s House and Senate operates; and this is why, from time to time:
ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME!

DISCLAIMER: This is meant as no disrespect to monkeys.

((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))

There is no evidence that this experiment ever took place. It is, however, a very convincingly written piece, and it is very relevant to the election coming up in two weeks.