At the tender age of fifteen, I learned about hospitals. I have written about my first hospital experience in a post titled “Life Can Change In A Moment”. Since then, I have been hospitalized several times for bouts with kidney stones. Most recently, my medical issues are age-related, like arthritis and sciatic-nerve flare-ups, neither of which has hospitalized me yet. Although I have avoided hospitalizations, I have not avoided doctors. I have to give them credit for having invented a fool proof scheme to extract money from the aged. It is not unusual to visit a doctor for an “annual” check up and wind up being tested to determine if my voiced complaints are caused by some known medical issue. For instance, at my latest check-up the doctor noted that my ankles were swollen. I had not placed any importance on such a phenomenon. Here is what happened: 1. I had to take an immediate ultrasound of my lower extremities to determine if the swelling was caused by a blood clot, 2. No blood clot was found, so I had to take another test to determine how vascular fluid was traversing through my legs. This test discovered a faulty valve in the system transporting vascular fluids. There is no synthetic valve invented to take care of this problem, so I am now on a diuretic medicine to remove excess fluid, and I have been told not to sit or stand for long periods. I guess, I’ll have to invent a horizontal barbecue like affair to spend my days suspended horizontally and rotating slowly like a pig on a spit in front of my computer watching Youtube videos or writing stupid stuff like this post.
Old age is not for the weak, and I continue to live by the creed of movie star Clint Eastwood, who recommends, “Don’t let the old man in.”
Filed under: Aging, Biography, Seniors | Tagged: Medicine | 5 Comments »
