This day started great. I woke up, went for a brisk walk, then ate a small breakfast of pastrami and cheese on rye toast. Then, I made it in time to pick up my rejuvenated hearing aids. I arrived home by 10:45 all proud of myself for having such a great start. I had a fresh cup of coffee and attacked the pile of papers on my desk. Then, the trouble began. I called the literary agent about my manuscript. I felt like all life had been sucked out of me.
He read a single editorial comment from the story and it frightened the daylights out of me. My worst fear has been recognized. Even with years of practice, I still have a proclivity to tell a story rather than to “show” it. What this could mean to me is a complete rewrite. This scares me because I put my heart and soul into the first draft and would consider the second draft as work rather than pleasure. It means hours at the computer sitting and thinking about how to “show” the story. I haven’t yet committed to having this company publish the work, and now I have this weird insecure feeling that life will be much better if I just trash the piece and go on living my normal do nothing life. Or, maybe, I’ll take a nap and come back refreshed to attack the problem ahead. It all boils down to whether or not I believe the story is as good as I think it is. It is good, but like all authors working on their first serious work, I am scared that it isn’t.
I am finally beginning to recognize what showing a story is all about when I read a fictional novel. I can see the story unfolding in my mind, but I can still not write in a showy fashion. This is the most challenging project I have ever undertaken; it is time for the nap.
Filed under: Aging, Writer | Tagged: new author, Publishing | Leave a comment »
