An Interview With AR15

AR-15 10,5″ (M4A1 CQBR, Mk18 Mod.0) tactical carbine with the micro collimator (red dot) sight.


Good day everyone, this is Grumpa Joe from Grumpa Joe’s Place who will be interviewing AR15. This is my first podcast interview, and I am excited about it. My guest today is AR15 recently retired from service in Afghanistan. Having served for twenty years in the armed services he can probably tell us many stories.

GJ, “Tell us about how you have been received at home since returning?”

AR15 “To tell you the truth I was disappointed at the reception. I have seen and heard so many stories that want to ban me, and my many brothers from use in the USA. For the life of me I can’t tell why the people would be so upset with me as to ban us from existing? For the past twenty years we have been saving American lives.”

GI, “Tell us a little bit about your life at home, who do you belong to, how often do you go out in public, etc.?”

AR15, “Life is boring for us. We seldom go out, and when we do our owners only take us to where they want to go. Many of our owners are ex-service men, and men who love the sport of shooting and hunting.

GJ, “I am a sport shooter, and have been all my life. I love holding a rifle with my eye to the sight, and my finger on the trigger. When I shoot at the target and see the cluster of holes near the bulls-eye it excites me. One thing about my rifle is that it never fires when I am not holding it, and my finger is not on the trigger. Do you ever shoot like you did in Afghanistan?”

AR15, “Never, I don’t get a say in where I am going, or when my trigger gets squeezed. In fact, I never get to load bullets into my magazine. All of the technical stuff of gun ownership falls strictly into the domain of the owner-operator.

GJ, “You mean you never get to fire a shot?”

AR15, “Never, and I will never in the future. My trigger requires a human finger to actuate.”

GJ, “Don’t you have AI that prompts you into action.”

AR15, “What is AI?”

GJ, “AI is artificial Intelligence.”

AR15, “Oh my Lord no, I don’t even have a brain in which to store information or instructions to direct my actions. We are made from steel, wood, plastic and some other metals. We have no biological parts, nor do we have any electronic parts that require a sim-card, or batteries to give us power. We are 100% mechanical.

GJ, “What do you do in between the times your owner visits the gun range?”

AR15, “I am disassembled and my parts are stored in a case until my owner decides to go shooting.”

GJ, “Does your owner ever take you with him to work, school or a tavern?”

AR15, “My owner does not, but I have heard that some owners will take their AR15 to a school where he pulls the trigger and shoots at students and people. I have no way to enter a school by myself, just as I cannot shoot without someone pulling on my trigger. The shooter can aim, and point the gun for hours but I will not discharge until he squeezes my trigger. What bothers me the most is when I hear the news stories there is always a cry to ban the gun. It is not my fault that the owner lacks mental capacity, discipline and self-control, and pulls the trigger on unsuspecting innocent people. Why aren’t they banned from society, why doesn’t AI take over and alarm to the danger?”

GJ, “All very good questions my inanimate friend, but we are out of time and will have to save them for another interview.”

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