– The meaning of opaque is unclear.
– I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
– Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
– A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
– I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
– It’s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Sumurais it for you.
– So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘apocalypse’? It’s not the end of the world.
– Police were called to the daycare center. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.
– The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
– Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
– Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.
– I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
– Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
– Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?
– I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.
– The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
– What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.
– Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!
– My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sewitseams.
– What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
– A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
– There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
– How do they figure out the price of hammers? Per pound.
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