Funny but Sad

Posted on 17/05/2019 by Grumpa Joe
The World As We Know It

A friend just made my day with this bit of information. I don’t know if any of it is true. If it is, it explains why America is in trouble. If it isn’t, I commend the author for having told some pretty crazy stories.

This is priceless….says a lot about why things are the way they are in government!

A DC ‘airport ticket agent’ offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble!

I love this as the ticket agent actually names names!

1.  I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2.  I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town . I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ” Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa .”   His response — click.. 

3.  A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, ‘Don’t lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!” (OMG)  

4.  I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see England from Canada ?” I said, ”No.”She said, ”But they look so close on the map” (OMG, again!) 

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas … When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’ He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?”

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”

10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?” I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11  Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. “Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those” I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”

12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .” I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” ‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man. After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.” ”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is Check your map! ”So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?” The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it’s in! Could ANYONE be this DUMB, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

Filed under: Government, Humor | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Dear Senator Durbin, 190516

Posted on 16/05/2019 by Grumpa Joe

Dear Senator Durbin:

Let me begin by stating that I am a very conservative Republican. If you have a problem with that you may trash this letter now. If you continue, I will give you my recommendation for how to handle the immigration problems we face as a nation. If you agree with my recommendations I expect you to draft or support legislation to make these proposals into law. I then expect you to get unanimous approval from the Congress and the Senate to pass the legislation. If you accept this challenge and succeed you will be a super hero Senator. However, you may choose to not follow my recommendations and remain an obscure feckless Senator who has spent his lifetime promoting his party over serving his country.

If you are still with me here are the recommendations:

  • Secure the border: Finishing every mile of wall
  • Protect American wages: Stem the flow of low-wage labor
  • Attract and retain the best and brightest immigrants
  • Prioritize nuclear families: limit which family members can come to the country to children and spouses
  • Import labor for critical industries
  • Preserve humanitarian values: Keep the asylum system, but limit it.

If this looks familiar it is because I lifted it straight from President Trump’s address to the country in the Rose Garden on 16 May 2019.

Senator Durbin I fully support President Trump’s policies to make America great again. We cannot as a nation continue to allow immigrants to flood across our borders endlessly. The country cannot support them, the economy does not have jobs for them. They will be destined to poverty within our borders just as they were in the countries they came from. At this very moment our cities are filling with homeless who turn to drugs for support. Our cities have become scattered with cardboard villages filled with people who have no support and yet we continue to allow new people in and offer them benefits our own people cannot get. You have always been a compassionate politician and speak eloquently on our responsibility to the poor and down trodden. All you have to do to continue your mission is to support this plan and you will uplift more poor people than the world has ever helped.

Please do your job and take President Trump’s proposal seriously and legislate a modern, “progressive” immigration policy as he has proposed; it helps the country and the immigrant. You can do it.

Grumpa Joe

Filed under: Uncategorized | Leave a comment »

I Hate Books That Make Me Think

Posted on 15/05/2019 by Grumpa Joe

Today, I finished reading The Point of it All by Charles Krauthammer. The first anniversary of his death is just around the corner in June. I became aquainted with Charles while watching Fox News. He appeared daily on Bret Baier’s news show. Krauthammer’s analysis and opinions alway impressed me. He spoke with knowledge and conviction. It never mattered what the subject was he spoke eloquently on the topic.

On the very first day I watched him I noticed something about the way he breathed. It reminded me of my polio days when many of my friends breathed funny because their polio affected their chest muscles. In all the years I watched him I never spotted anything like a wheelchair or saw his arms or hands move. Much later when curiosity got the best of me I searched the internet for information about him and learned that he was paralyzed from the chest down. Injured in a diving accident as a student.

Charles never let his handicap interfere with his life. Same with me. He moved forward the best he could with his affirmity. It is strange when positive people have accidents or terribly crippling events in their lives the terribleness never stops them from moving on with life. In my case my dream was to play football in high school. All through my fevered period when the virus spread through my body I kept thinking I have to beat this thing and get to tryouts. A couple of months later the realization that I wasn’t going to make the tryouts hit me, and I shifted gears to learn how to swallow. Swallowing doesn’t sound like much but when the muscles involved in making that normal function stop working your life is on hold. Thankfully, the medicine of the day was advanced enough to thread a feeding tube through my nose into my stomach, and I lived.

It took weeks to learn how to walk and to keep my head from rolling around like it was attached with a slinky. It took months to learn how to smile, and longer to learn how to swallow, All through this rehab I never wavered from getting back to school, but football left my mind.

Charles didn’t allow his paralysis beat him from reaching his goal, he became a doctor, a Psychiatrist. He practiced for a number of years before quitting to become a writer. He died a writer, and a damned good one too.

The problem I have with books like his is that they force me to have to think. That means reading the book is no longer a pleasure it is an effort. Big words, new phraseology of big words all slow me down, and sometimes put me to sleep. Charles succeeded in giving me a nap several times during this read, but it didn’t stop me from completing the book.

He makes so much sense in his thinking, and he is a conservative too. I would have loved to watch a debate between him and the most liberal debater on earth, that is, if one could be found.

Filed under: Book Review, Conservative, family | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Divided We Fall

Posted on 12/05/2019 by Grumpa Joe
How Many Ways Can We Be Divided? Let Me Count The Ways!

 

A few days ago I got to thinking about how many divisions there are in America. Here is the list I made:

Republican vs Democrat

Conservative ve Liberal

Black vs White

North vs South

Muslim vs Christians

Urban vs Rural

Citizens vs Police

Progressives vs Constitutionalists

Global Warming vs non-Global Warming

Capitalism vs Socialism

Free Speech vs Restricted Speech

Guns vs no-Guns

Open Border vs Closed Border

Legal Immigration vs Illegal Immigration

Right to Life vs Abortion & Euthanasia

Voter Registration vs no Registration

Big Government vs Limited Government

Prayer in Schools vs No Prayer in schools

Gay vs Straight

Public Displays of Religious Icons or no Public Displays of Icons

Public Monuments of Confederate Heroes vs no Heros

War vs Peace

Media Support of Solitary Causes vs Un-Biased Media reporting

Social Media Screening One Voice vs Supporting Any Opposition

. . . then I ran out of steam.

There are many more divisions within America that I have not listed. Those above are in the news almost daily. Demonstrations go on nearly every day of the year. There is never any good news.

A question that came to mind. How on earth can we unify a divided country when there are so many unhappy people with so many opposing views? Not only do they oppose each other they often fight with each other on the streets during demonstrations. Congress passes a Bill to correct a specific problem and the opposing force demonstrates against it. During my childhood, so many years ago, I recall laws and decisions made by Congress, but I don’t recall divisions like we have now. Of course WWII played a big part in unifying us. Our men were all fighting and our women were too busy working, and raising their children to be worried about being paid less than men, or about how they needed child care, or health care. Kids were cared for by grandparents and aunts or uncles. Women buried their concerns in favor of patriotic commitment to win the war, to get their men back home, and to feed their kids. Women didn’t have time for petty arguments.

It finally occurred to me what has to be done to fix all these divisions. Some call it the rule of law. This is a principle being violated almost hourly, by the citizenry, and by the ruling class. We the people have been numbed to the idea that the law pertains to all of us. The rule of law included the ten commandments as our moral compass. Secular government has slowly caused us to evolve away from believing in a Supreme Being and morality. As a result of this loosening of morals we have drifted away from any societal unification.

If there is one thing that set America apart from other countries it is the assimilation of peoples. New immigrants group together so they can retain a cultural connection to their homeland and their language. The difference is immigrants of yore liked to live together and speak their native language but they aligned themselves with America and not their homeland. Today, we see cultures settling into cities to become Little Cuba, or a Muslim no-go-zone. In no-go zones they adhere to Sharia law and disregard US law. Some even patrol the streets in special police cars to look for offenders of Sharia even though they have no legal right to police. The best way to describe them is that they patrol their little piece of America as if it was their homeland. Our immigration laws do not specify that they can create a new country within a country where everything is the same as where they left. That is the opposite of assimilation. That is declaring your little piece of settlement as a different country within a country.

The immigrants of the twentieth century came to America legally. They followed existing laws to citizenship. They learned English, but preferred to speak in their native tongue. My own parents lived in America for seventy-five years but continued to speak with an Eastern European accent, and in very broken English. In fact, they spoke an advanced language which was a blend of their native tongue and English.

When ever I tested my Dad about his allegiance I would ask him if he wanted to go back home. His answer was always, “I am in America now this is my home.”

“Do you want to go back for a visit? “

“No, this is my home.”

Assimilation is a mind set that is lacking in today’s immigrant, but assimilation is a necessary component of becoming the unique and exceptional American. Without the drive to become a citizen how can one be an American? My Dad remembered the exact day of his becoming a citizen, the address of the courthouse, the judge who presided and the oath he took. We have both legal and illegal residents who have no intention of ever assimilating into our society. I personally have met several migrants who have lived here for more than twenty years, who do not want a Social Security number, who do not pay taxes, and work for cash only. Why are  they here? They like the liberty but hate government control. When they get sick and need a doctor or some medicine they are appalled at the out of pocket costs and complain that the Europe system is better. When asked if they will go back to the system that is better the answer is always no. These people are not assimilating.

Well, what about all the other divisions that are not caused by immigration like Capitalism vs Socialism? What causes that difference? It is my opinion that this division is caused by the moral breakdown of America. At one time the majority took responsibility for their actions. Today, fully fifty percent of the country believes it is the government’s responsibility to keep them from harm. Really? Sad, very sad. When did the government say it is okay to get your girlfriend pregnant and then to get an abortion over assuming your responsibility to raise the child? The government didn’t say that, but they now offer a free abortion which allows you to shirk.

What about closed border vs open border?  This is the result of a lack of natural population growth. We need people to fuel the economy. Since our women are not having babies at a rate that will keep our culture stable the liberal government encourages immigrants to ebb the lack of births. Makes sense right? Not, it conflicts with the government’s liberal abortion policy aimed at killing newly conceived people. In fact they support the division of black vs white because the majority of babies aborted are black. Over three hundred thousand babies are aborted every year. If these babies were allowed to be born and grow into citizens we wouldn’t need immigrants to replace our shortage.

As I begin to rationalize the reasons for the differences I see a clear relationship developing between many of them. For instance it can be logically concluded that the need for immigration connects to abortion.

In the case of Democrats and Republicans being divided it is because we the people elected a president that is not your grandfathers president. He is a man who sees the connections to the divisions and has the temerity to take them on. Not only is he hated by Democrats but by members of his Republican party too. President Trump threatens to expose and bring down  what he refers to as the “swamp,” or the inner workings of big, no not big, huge government that turns members of Congress who are paid a paltry $178,000 per year into millionaires. I’m surprised that he still alive.

America needs a huge house cleaning and a reset. We are like the computer that gets filled with junk files, bugs, fix upon fix to keep out creepy malware, and updates that cause it to work crappy. What do we do to correct it? We shut it off and re-boot it with fresh pure software. Wake up America, the Founding fathers foresaw this and made sure we have the Bill of Rights to use to perform the reset. More specifically the First Amendment right to free speech, freedom of religion, and the right to assemble. They gave us the Second Amendment right to own guns. They did not protect our gun ownership so we could crazily enter gun free zones to kill people. Gun ownership gives us a guarantee that “we the people” have some form of weapon to depose the government, and begin anew.

 

Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

« Previous Page