Grumpa Joe's Place

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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has

helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book!”

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A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called,

“Husband: The Master of the House”?

Sales Girl: Certainly Sir, you’ll find it under ‘Fiction and Comics’ on the 1st floor!

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Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your

wife darling, honey, luv… What’s the secret?”

Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.”

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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I’d be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper…so I could have a new

one every day!

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Husband to wife: Today is a fine day. Next day he says: Today is a

fine day. Again, the next day, he says the same thing: Today is a fine

day.

Finally, after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband

“Since last week, you have been saying, ‘Today is a fine day’.

I am fed up. What’s the matter?”

Husband: “Last week when we had an argument, you said, ‘I will leave

you one fine day.’ I was just trying to make sure you remembered”

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure

that either the car or the wife is new.

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What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant;

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;

Panic is when both are pregnant!

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Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad

got a heart attack and our driver ran away!

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A young boy asks his Dad: “What is the difference between confident

and confidential?”

Dad says: “You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over

there is also my son; that is confidential!”Time For Some Levity