A Little Marital Levity

A

Pharmacist to a customer:
“Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription.

 Simply showing your marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough.”

………

 

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has

helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book!”

……..

 

A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called,

“Husband: The Master of the House”?

Sales Girl: Certainly Sir, you’ll find it under ‘Fiction and Comics’ on the 1st floor!

………

 

Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your

wife darling, honey, luv… What’s the secret?”

Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.”

……….

 

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I’d be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper…so I could have a new

one every day!

……….

 

Husband to wife: Today is a fine day. Next day he says: Today is a

fine day. Again, the next day, he says the same thing: Today is a fine

day.

Finally, after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband

“Since last week, you have been saying, ‘Today is a fine day’.

I am fed up. What’s the matter?”

Husband: “Last week when we had an argument, you said, ‘I will leave

you one fine day.’ I was just trying to make sure you remembered”

………..

 

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure

that either the car or the wife is new.

………..

 

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant;

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;

Panic is when both are pregnant!

………

 

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad

got a heart attack and our driver ran away!

……….

 

A young boy asks his Dad: “What is the difference between confident

and confidential?”

Dad says: “You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over

there is also my son; that is confidential!”Time For Some Levity

2 Responses

  1. Really loved these.

  2. Reblogged this on Nutsrok.

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