180116-Looking Forward Forty Years

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 HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

North Korea is still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
 


85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
 
 
 

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .


Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
 
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony..
They Had simultaneous Headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with
Only 3 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what….NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.
 


I Love This Country!
 
 
 
It’s The Government That Scares Me!
Stop organized crime.
Re-elect no one.
 
 

Bloody Immigration

Roman fighting Gauls

If ever there was a story of immigration The Eagles Brood in the Camulod Chronicles series of books I am currently reading describes it in detail. The era was 300-500 A.D. and the story takes place in what is now known as England. In those  years the land belonged to the Roman Empire. As all empires go, the politicians got greedy and the tax money lined their pockets instead of paying their armies to keep law, and order in the territories. Reading about the society of that era is much like reading about our own society today. Our politicians all prosper while our status in the world, and even at home suffers. Masses of people all looking to get a piece of our heavenly land flock across the borders to flee oppression in their native lands.

One huge difference between 400 A.D. and 2018 A.D. is that immigrants aren’t being led by egomaniacal leaders who do not want land alone, but power as well. A second difference is in the way immigrants fought wars. Land was won by the group that could slay the weaker one. Literally, battles ended when there were no more soldiers of the other side to kill. Bodies piled up every where, wounded were triaged into the savable and those to be put out of their misery. WOW!

The author, Jack Whyte has not let me down yet, and the story continues for another four volumes. His characters are strong and human. Some are pure evil and desperate for control. The family blood line is what drives his narrative, and at this point he is in the fourth generation.

The historical period is fascinating, and Jack Whyte is a master historian of the time.  His dialog, description of living conditions, and customs makes the reader become one of the characters.

 

PSA-180113-It Starts All Over

Some of this you have seen here before, but rather than waste my life trying to figure out what I have seen before I’m sending it all. The new stuff is really funny.
The Cynical Philosopher  😄😄
 
 I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
 
 I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
 
 When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
 
♦Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
 
 America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
 
 You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
 
 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
 
 My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that..
 
 I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
 
 Money talks .. but all mine ever says is good-bye.
 
 You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see.
 
 If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
 
 I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
 
 My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
 
 My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
 
 Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
 
 The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
 
 The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
 
 I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
 
 Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
 
 The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

Where Should I Start?

For the past two weeks I have itched to rant about the liberal dialog trying to destroy President Trump. First it was about the so-called Psychiatrist Dr. Brandy Lee who went to Congress to tell them Trump is a “public health risk”.  How she can tell this from watching him on TV baffles me. It is my assessment from looking at one picture of her and reading this one article that Ms Lee is a Obama ass-kisser and a liberal snow flake.  There, we are even. She said something I didn’t like now I’ve countered with an equally stupid comment. I feel better already. Maybe that is why she is saying what she did about Trump, she wants to ease our anxiety over our Trump admiration. As little as eighteen months ago my own spoken words were very negative about our then leader Obama. The difference between then and now is that any liberal who heard me labeled my speech racist and dismissed it, and me. Ms Lee is not caucasian, rather Asian, therefore I will also call her remarks racist.

The second issue to incite me occurred today when Democrats specifically Tricky Dicky Durbin from the Socialist state of Illinois went ballistic because Trump called Haiti a shit hole of a country. All I can say to Durbin is that the truth hurts. He has attempted to explain Trump’s wish to end “chain migration” as racist. I will give Durbin credit for creativity. His interpretation of chain migration is from the time when slaves chained to ships were brought to America against their will. On the other side of that coin, Durbin shows his total lack of understanding of the current immigration term which means one person granted amnesty may invite every relative he knows get into the country on his shirt-tails.

Tricky Dicky is up for election in 2018 so he has formally opened his campaign. Notice, he sat next to Trump during the unprecedented open meeting on immigration. He has been in the Senate long enough to belong to those who should retire because they have been in the office too long.

I have  never heard Durbin speak sensibly. He is a smooth and eloquent speaker, but after I listen to him awhile I ask myself what the hell did he just say? The words flow, but they don’t make any sense. Every time I see him on TV I look for what he is carrying in his right hand, I want to see the carpetbag. Before entering public office Durbin spent time in a law practice and as a teacher, but somehow he has managed to become a millionaire. I don’t know how people can become so rich. I worked my ass off for over sixty-nine years and I am far from a millionaire.

Unfortunately for Illinois, Durbin will get re-elected again. He has the entire democrat machine behind him and a sizable war chest. Republicans in Illinois don’t stand a chance.

Pita or Potica?

I challenged my grandson Joey to a bake-off last week and guess what? He beat me. Joey is a student in the school of Culinary Arts at Joliet Junior College. I really thought he could pick up a few pointers from the Old Man (me). He stepped into the kitchen, I handed him an apron which he donned immediately. I thought for sure he would wimp-out and hand it back to me, but he put it on and made me proud. The challenge was to bake a walnut-roll from the recipe found in my mother’s (his great grand mother’s) cook book.

Every year at Christmas and New Year I get a strange yen to eat walnut-roll. Most likely because Mom raised me eating walnut roll, and many other beautiful baked goods. She was an excellent baker. How she became one is a mystery. She came to the USA when she was sixteen, so she didn’t have a lot of time to develop epicurean cooking or baking skills while still in her native Hungary. She married my Dad when she was twenty-three. Until then she worked as a domestic for families in the Chicago area, and might have developed some experience during that period.

My parents lived in a neighborhood called Burnside on the far South side of Chicago. Burnside had a very heavy population of immigrants from many European countries: Hungary, Italy, Poland, Ukraine, Germany, Slovenia, and few I forgot. The name of the Catholic Church in the neighborhood was Our Lady of Hungary, so a lot of Hungarians lived there. My guess is that Mom learned to cook and bake from her girl friends in the neighborhood. If they shared something, or baked something at a bake sale which she liked she would ask them for a recipe, and make it for my Dad. He was a man who never disappointed her because he ate every experiment she put in front of him without a complaint. Being the observant type, she would notice how quickly he devoured her experiments. Being a quick learner she kept making the things that disappeared from the table fast.

My brother, sister and I were also willing test subjects. I can honestly brag that she brought me up on her walnut roll, blackberry and apple pie, poppy-seed or apricot kiflik, and a myriad of other delectable bakery. Her white bread was to die for. She didn’t bother baking small loaves in those wimpy nine by four-inch bread pans, but rather a turkey roasting pan. The image of a giant loaf of white bread still warm from the oven makes my mouth water.

We two Joe’s set out to bake the best walnut roll made by any human on earth. Because Joey was in a strange kitchen, I obeyed his requests for tools, and ingredients. He never looked back and jumped into the process with a vigor I had never seen him have before. Being a good grandfather, and a believer in the benefits of positive reinforcement I became his assistant. I never said anything, but observed as he steadily assembled the ingredients. I merely asked if he finished using the dish, spoon, pot, etc so I could rinse it clean.

When it came to deciding when the dough was ready he became frustrated by the elasticity, and I finally chastised him for his impatience with a “nothing is perfect comment.” He bought my argument and proceeded to work the dough into a beautiful thin sheet ready for spreading the filling and the last roll up. Finally, I was able to teach him my technique of rolling the dough on a sheet of waxed paper which made the last windup easy. We popped two finished rolls on a greased cookie-sheet slid it into the oven and anxiously awaited for it to bake. I set a timer for thirty minutes called for by the recipe. Joey just opened the oven door occasionally and lightly touched the surface of the dough with his fingertip. He pulled the rolls from the oven at twenty-five minutes declaring the rolls done. It seemed an eternity for the them to cool enough for us to cut, and when we finally did it turned out he was right, the rolls were fully baked and ready, and delicious; just like my Ma’s.

I sent Joe home with one of the rolls, and wrapped the other to keep it moist. There was enough filling left over to make another loaf. I decided to make it the next day, but I wanted to try a different recipe. My mother’s recipe did not use yeast in the dough, so I chose a Slovak recipe using the same ingredients plus yeast. To make this loaf totally different I added cinnamon and honey to the filling. This dough was very elastic and would have met Joe’s requirements. The recipe made enough dough for two loaves, but when I spread it out into twelve by sixteen inch rectangle I realized I could have made four loaves by thinning the sheet.

I used up all the filling on one loaf and baked it using a timer. My walnut-roll came out browner on the top but still very soft inside.

Another eternity passed as I waited for the loaf to cool enough to cut. To pass time, I cut a slice of Joey’s to make a comparison. The slice almost didn’t make the side by side as I had not yet eaten breakfast and my mouth started watering.

Eventually, I cut the new roll and took side by side photos. It is obvious to see which slice had the yeast. Next came a taste test. Honestly, they were nearly identical. I didn’t taste the honey or the cinnamon. Joey’s roll tasted a bit more of flour than did the yeast dough. Both were good and I look forward to devouring them in the days ahead.

So, which is it Pita or Potica? My mother’s cook book calls it Pita, the Slovenians, and Polish call it Potica.