It has been a long time since I heard from my cousin Sharron on the Left Coast. I was surprised today when she popped up in my in basket with another nugget of knowledge like she always sends. This one makes great sense. Since so many of us have professed to move out of the country when the wrong candidate wins the election. I think living in Mexico wouldn’t be much different than living in America these days, except for the bennies. The letter below is a list of demands to be met before I step over the line.
Dear Mr. Obama, Senate and Congress:
I’m planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my
health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We’re planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we’ll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws.
I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So,
would you mind telling your buddy, the President of Mexico, that I’m on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking Government bureaucrats for all services I
might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican Government forms in English.
4. I want my grand kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American
culture and history.
6. I want my grand kids to see the American flag on one of the
flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grand kids at school for both breakfast
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy
access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to
purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the
memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,
or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be
extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I’ll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I’ll need income tax credits so that although I don’t pay
Mexican taxes, I’ll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Government pays
$4,500.00 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the
Mexican Social Security program so that I’ll get a monthly income in
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these
things for all of his people who walk over to the U.S.
I am sure that the President of Mexico won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Do you see how stupid this looks when it’s put it in writing?