Being that my intent is to impart wisdom regarding motivation, I failed to do so in my last post. Previously, I spoke on the point that every negative has an equal or greater positive. In my post on regrets, I failed to point out the positive to the horribly negative emotion of regret. My late wife Barbara always told me “that what you don’t do for one, you will do for the other.” I never believed her at the time, but now I see the wisdom of the phrase. Many of my regrets are the things I failed to do for her, like the frequent “I love you,” the hug, or the kiss. I took for granted that after forty years she knew that I loved her. Yet she craved to hear it said. Those regrets apply to the first part of the phrase, “what you don’t do for one…” Therin lies the positive to this terribly regretful negative, I get a chance to do it differently with my new wife, and so the second part of the phrase, “…you will do for the other,” applies. That is the positive born from the negative.
I am lucky to have another chance with a second wife, but how many widows and widowers never allow themselves that chance. They will never find the positive in their negative, at least not the way I found it.
The best course of action is to make a goal to never, never, never, never, say or do something you will regret. Certainly not easy to do, but worth the effort.
Filed under: grief, Motivation | Tagged: family, love, marriage, positive vs negative, regret, widow, widower |
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