Thanks Mom!

Posted on 17/08/2012 by Grumpa Joe
English: Picture of a slice of homemade Pastic...

English: Picture of a slice of homemade Pastichio, a Greek dish taught to me by my mother. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.

“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.

“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!

But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favorite!!

26. My mother taught me about CHOICE.

“Do you want me to stop this car?”

The only  thing my Mom didn’t teach me is how to translate these things into English from Hungarian.

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A Strip of Long Hair Running Down the Middle of a Bald Head

Posted on 11/02/2012 by Grumpa Joe
Young girl with blond mohawk in Germany.

Image via Wikipedia

My creative brain is frozen, locked up, dead. The best way to unfreeze it is to begin writing, anything.  My political brain is the most locked up. The politics of the current administration is soooo bad, and I am soooo mad, I cannot think of how to cartoon or to opinionate them. My personal life is soooo dull, I don’t have, nor do I want to share my thoughts; although I am doing that just now.

My projects include a new movie called “Searching for Indians and  A-Bombs,” my new book soon to be released on Kindle is “Jun-e-or, Recollections of Life in the Forties and Fifties,” both are consuming time to the point of  “IT’S WORK.” By the way that is pronounced Jew-knee-or. Buy the book to learn what that means.

My series of posts titled “Simple Amusements” is from the book. Perhaps if you wait long enough and read this blog often, you will get the entire book without spending a dime.

Today, I had a neat little workout. I shoveled snow for the first time since early January. I missed a bad snowfall a few weeks ago because I took a weekend off to visit my son in Texas. Thank you Lord for letting the worst storm of January take place while I was out of town. By the way, South Texas weather is gorgeous this time of the year, I recommend it to anyone who wants to escape winter.

At mass this evening, a young couple sat in front of us. The man took me back with his appearance. First, he had muscle definition to die for. Large arms, skinny waist, and a broad chest. He appeared like he worked out often. He removed his jacket to further reveal a short sleeve tee shirt that displayed great arms and upper abdominal physique. His wife was bundled in a heavy winter coat over a hooded sweatshirt.

What took me back was his hair. He had a strip of wild hair running down the middle of a bald head. I believe it is called a Mohawk. The center hair was waxed to stand up and to look unruly. His wife was gorgeous but slightly heavy with blond hair that was nearly white. He looked like a Rush Street bartender, and she like a stay at home mom. After a few minutes, I regained my composure and looked past the man’s hairdo. Here was a couple in their late twenties worshipping God in a church. Hello, what is wrong with that picture? Young people in church? How rare is that?

At the traditional handshake of peace, both of them turned around and offered a most gracious blessing with a heartwarming smile. I wanted to know them and to learn more about them. Perhaps I will see them next week. I will not let them leave without some friendly conversation.

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