I Can’t Stay Quiet Anymore

Posted on 14/07/2024 by Grumpa Joe

Last night, Lovely and I went to a local fest called Lion Firecracker Dance. We deliberately arrived two hours after it opened because a previous experience warned me that the fun would begin at eight p.m. Lions support Lions, and I fully expected to see an ocean of yellow tees across the crowd. I saw one from the Frankfort Lions. We greeted each other with a. manly bearhug and sat at a table. The first thing he did was to lean in to my ear and ask me if I had seen any news programs within the last two hours. I said “no.”

He responded, “Trump survived an assassination attempt at a Pennsylvania rally. I nearly fell out of my chair. Immediately, I went to my phone and found a news item detailing the shooting. Over the past four years I have deliberately avoided writing my opinions about political matters because, frankly, no one cares what I think. I’d sooner waste my geriatric energy on butterflies and cicadas than on wasted old men like Joe Biden, a true communist from the moment of conception. I must admit, the assassination attempt awoke a mean streak in me. I said to my friend, it must have been a gun hating democrat because a republican wouldn’t have missed.

For the past four years, I have watched repeated attempts to discredit Trump and make people hate him. Instead, every try has made him stronger. Trump is the Road Runner in a Wiley Coyote cartoon. Just as Over the past four years, I have witnessed numerous attempts to discredit Trump and make people hate him. However, each attempt has only seemed to make him stronger. To me, it seems like Trump is the Road Runner in a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. Just like in the recent debate, which I watched to gauge for myself if age was affecting Biden’s performance.in the debate, which I watched to determine for myself if age was shadowing Biden like the Grim Reaper. I decided that the shadow cast on Biden by the Reaper over shadows my own. The thing that scared me most during the debate, were Joe’s eyes. He seemed to be speaking from fear. It is as if he feared Hillary Clinton putting him over her knee and spanking him if he misspoke. Or, Obama whispering into his ear, “this is a big f–king deal Joe, don’t mess it up. I listened to his words, and his sentences were coherent but he spoke as if in fear of his life, and he spoke softly but rapidly as if he didn’t get the words out quickly he would lose them.

Anyway, a God-fearing, gun-loving Republican would not have missed the shot. That is my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Filed under: Aging, Government, politics | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

My Wife Doesn’t Understand English

Posted on 08/07/2024 by Grumpa Joe

so I can get away with posting these funnies.

I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I gave it to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it back for $15.

·        ·  My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We’ve been awake since Tuesday.

·        ·  My wife said: “That’s the 4th time you’ve gone back for dessert! Doesn’t it embarrass you?” I said: “No, I keep telling them it’s for you.”

·        ·  She said she missed me. Normally that would be good but she’s reloading.

·        ·  When I was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a rhombus and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape.

·        ·  My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favorite is The Sexy Librarian where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.

·        ·  Being old is when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go too.

·        ·  I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

·        ·  At a wedding reception, someone yelled: “All married people please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living.” The bartender was almost crushed to death.

·        ·  I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

·        ·  I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.

Filed under: Humor | Leave a comment »

Why I Stopped Blogging

Posted on 07/07/2024 by Grumpa Joe

I’ve been so involved in completing my second book, which I began in 2014, that I have stopped posting. This story is totally the opposite of the one I submitted to a publisher last month. The first called Space Rod is loaded with sex, while BAC doesn’t spend any time on sexual matters at all. Space Rod deals with grief and impersonal sexual relationships. This new story is based on the premise that George Washington was killed during the Revolutionary War and the thirteen colonies which extended to the Mississippi River never got any larger.

The world was very different because there wasn’t a United States of America. Consequently, there was never a Louisiana Purchase, and Texas remained its own country. Texas expanded into the Mexican domain and stretched up to Canada. Spain was left with Mexico, Arizona, New Mexico, California, Oregon, and Washington, and Hitler won the war in Europe. My head spins with all the possibilities that exist in storytelling. Hopefully, I’ll complete the manuscript before the end of Summer, and return to Blogging.

I am obsessed with finishing this goal because my time on this earth is shortening rapidly, and there is so much I still want to do. I first began writing Space Rod in 2013 and then switched to BAC-British American Colonies in 2014, thinking I’d finish them both. Then Peggy developed dementia, and my life turned into taking care of her. Peggy has been gone for five years already and I don’t have that as an excuse any longer. It is time to put on my big boy pants and do the job.

I have pledged not to do any Intarsia or gardening until I submit BAC to a publisher. If one, both, or none get published, my goals will change accordingly based on my desire to sell stories.

That is my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Filed under: Aging, Biography, Writer | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »