Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!
I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
The biggest lie I tell myself is … “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes”.
Even duct tape can’t fix stupid … but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Filed under: Aging, family, Humor | Tagged: Senior Musings |
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